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You Can’t Move Me

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September 15th, 2009

What do you see when you look in the mirror
Because I feel like what you see is wrong
Who you are is said to be me
But I’ve known you all along
Maybe you’re too blind to tell
But I’m starting to see you
And it’s scary because I hate who you are
But there’s not much I can do
I see the way you act
But you pretend like that’s me
Your negative qualities
Are who I’m said to be
But I could be wrong
I could be becoming who you are
Then you made me like this
Because you pushed me too far
Always acting like you’re better than me
But I’ve got nothing to prove
And if I don’t stand my ground
You’re going to make me move
And I do this as my resentment towards you
This is the side of me that you see
And if you don’t change your ways
This is all you’ll ever know of me

Uncertainty

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September 13th, 2009

I can stare into your eyes, but they’re pixelated on a screen, and that’s as much of them that I can see. So close has never seemed so far away, when you’re stuck on the other end of a phone, a computer, technology is as close as I can get to you, still too far away. I never knew I could feel like this, lost inside myself, inside my words, fallen into an endless black hole in a screen full of your eyes. Years of who I was before, led me into who I am now, and because of you, that is who I don’t know anymore. My attention grabbers don’t seem to work for you, and I’m speechless because you make me scared, you make me nervous, and I don’t want to screw this up. You don’t really know who I am, and you appear to like me anyways, but I’m scared that will change. I want you to know who I am, and to like me anyways, because I like this feeling I get from you. But can I handle this?

Unrequited

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September 1st, 2009

When you say you love me, I feel comfort, but I don’t think I love you anymore. After all these years I still feel awkward when I see you, and I don’t think that’s going to change. You taught me so much I could never learn on my own. Thank you for teaching me how to feel and how to hurt. I’ve gotten to the point I just want to take myself so far, to where my knees give out, and no matter where I am, I’ll be okay. I want to think that I will always have you as a friend, because no matter how in love with you I was, I don’t think being more would be best for us ever again. Thank you for helping me to grow, and for being part of my experience, but most of all, thank you for never loving me back.