September 13th, 2009

I can stare into your eyes, but they’re pixelated on a screen, and that’s as much of them that I can see. So close has never seemed so far away, when you’re stuck on the other end of a phone, a computer, technology is as close as I can get to you, still too far away. I never knew I could feel like this, lost inside myself, inside my words, fallen into an endless black hole in a screen full of your eyes. Years of who I was before, led me into who I am now, and because of you, that is who I don’t know anymore. My attention grabbers don’t seem to work for you, and I’m speechless because you make me scared, you make me nervous, and I don’t want to screw this up. You don’t really know who I am, and you appear to like me anyways, but I’m scared that will change. I want you to know who I am, and to like me anyways, because I like this feeling I get from you. But can I handle this?

3 thoughts on “Uncertainty

    • This was written many years ago, but I never posted it anywhere before today. Kinda funny now that I have a lot of history now with the person I wrote it about. But I’m currently in the middle of divorcing them. So it’s interesting to look back at the beginning. But sadly not everyone is receptive of love or words of affirmation!

      Liked by 1 person

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