Self-Deception

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March 9th, 2026

You told me I was holding back
So I worked on dropping my walls
Then you recalled that as the weekend
When you thought about ending this all
Accused me of being closed off
Never honest with yourself
You ran when I opened up
And then let me blame myself
You were dreading time with me
Couldn’t love the open side of me
You told me it was what you wanted
But you actually wanted the fantasy
I thought I got it right this time
I was starting to let you in
Now you’re just another person
Who left me in the end

The Rebound

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March 9th, 2026 

I met you four years ago
You’ve always been nonchalant
Now your lips taste wrong
Because you’re not who I want
Your sheets are different
But the comforter is the same
Thinking about the last two years
Another girl laid where I’ve laid
You don’t want me either
I told myself I was done with this
But we find our way back again
As we ease each other’s loneliness
I know you aren’t the one
But my aloneness has won
And as you walked me up your stairs 
I wondered “what have I done?”

Another Coffee Shop

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March 7th, 2026

It’s been a while
Since I went somewhere to write
I’m going through the motions
Fawn, freeze, fight, and flight
When I think that I’ll be okay
I start to lose my sh*t
I saw a future with someone who left
That’s not something I can forget
When things become too real
People run away
Stuck in this pattern
No one ever stays
But I will keep trying
I refuse to concede
I know that I’m worth it
One day someone won’t leave