Uncertainty

September 13th, 2009

I can stare into your eyes, but they’re pixelated on a screen, and that’s as much of them that I can see. So close has never seemed so far away, when you’re stuck on the other end of a phone, a computer, technology is as close as I can get to you, still too far away. I never knew I could feel like this, lost inside myself, inside my words, fallen into an endless black hole in a screen full of your eyes. Years of who I was before, led me into who I am now, and because of you, that is who I don’t know anymore. My attention grabbers don’t seem to work for you, and I’m speechless because you make me scared, you make me nervous, and I don’t want to screw this up. You don’t really know who I am, and you appear to like me anyways, but I’m scared that will change. I want you to know who I am, and to like me anyways, because I like this feeling I get from you. But can I handle this?

Liaison of Vast Endearment

January 4th, 2022

How is a word so scary
Removed it from my vocabulary
Except I used to feel too strongly
Until the word was used so wrongly
I felt that way about the word
A fluttering feeling when it was heard
Art and poetry filled with its letters
Then I realized that it deserved better
No meaning to support the claim
Because they say it all the same
Waiting to feel the warmth of the flame
So I avoid using its name

Benchwarmer

December 3rd, 2021

Lost in thoughts
If I’ve done something wrong
Messages go unread
Like you’re dragging me along
Rewrite my poetry
Until the meaning is gone
Lose you in the verses
Where you didn’t belong
Letting you go
Letter by letter
I won’t stay on the sidelines
Knowing I deserve better