You Said You Missed Me First

January 24th, 2023

The euphoria I feel with you
It’s like I am on a high
But then I hit my comedown
And it makes me wonder why
The first time you told me you missed me
I thought you were full of sh*t
But when you whispered it to me
I thought you might have meant it
The signals you give to me
I don’t know when to go
The red light is still on
But do I proceed because you said so
I don’t know what you want from me
Your actions don’t match what you said
That I was getting too comfortable with you
When I think that was you instead


September 13th, 2009

I can stare into your eyes, but they’re pixelated on a screen, and that’s as much of them that I can see. So close has never seemed so far away, when you’re stuck on the other end of a phone, a computer, technology is as close as I can get to you, still too far away. I never knew I could feel like this, lost inside myself, inside my words, fallen into an endless black hole in a screen full of your eyes. Years of who I was before, led me into who I am now, and because of you, that is who I don’t know anymore. My attention grabbers don’t seem to work for you, and I’m speechless because you make me scared, you make me nervous, and I don’t want to screw this up. You don’t really know who I am, and you appear to like me anyways, but I’m scared that will change. I want you to know who I am, and to like me anyways, because I like this feeling I get from you. But can I handle this?

Liaison of Vast Endearment

January 4th, 2022

How is a word so scary
Removed it from my vocabulary
Except I used to feel too strongly
Until the word was used so wrongly
I felt that way about the word
A fluttering feeling when it was heard
Art and poetry filled with its letters
Then I realized that it deserved better
No meaning to support the claim
Because they say it all the same
Waiting to feel the warmth of the flame
So I avoid using its name