Hurt

House of Cards

/ Karissa Doll / Leave a comment

August 14th, 2022

I hope this poem finds you well
Hiding in your house of cards
You gave enough to gain my trust
But you never dropped your guard
Too afraid to travel the world
Or have a serious conversation
Wasting my time like it’s yours to gamble
And you leave me in frustration
You never cared enough to ask
You treat life like it’s poker
So I will continue to fold
When I needed an ace but all I got was a joker
So I hope this poem brings you hell
Because I will call your bluff
And if you keep using people like toys
You will never be enough

Denial

/ Karissa Doll / Leave a comment

June 10th, 2021

Another collision
Like the last two years disappeared
Like before I ever met you
But my memories haven’t cleared
I had consciously chosen
Not to write you into my pages
But I can’t keep pretending
If I want to get through these next stages
And I’ve tried to shake this feeling
But for months it hasn’t faded
You left me in your past
Like it was me who made you jaded
Then I dreamed that you said sorry
When I know you’ll never be
So I’ll write you out of my system
And I can set this free

Mother

/ Karissa Doll / Leave a comment

April 15th, 2010

She walks slowly down the stairs
Hands pressed tight against the walls
Too drunk to control her movement
But not wanting to fall
The blank look in her eyes
She’s not really there
No expression, only pain
She thinks that no one cares
She doesn’t know yet
Alcohol is not the cure
Every new bottle I want to smash
But she’s made it so clear
I can’t make her change
She doesn’t care that she hurts her family
Just keeps drinking from that cup
And this is no role model for me
I can’t change the glass in her hand
It never seems to run dry
And I can’t fix the pain she feels
But I also can’t care when she cries
If she was still my mother
Why does she hurt me
She’s killing herself with a bottle
But she would disagree
She doesn’t want to stop
I’m not worth her time
And I can’t fix her life
So I have to fix mine
She can’t accept I’ve tried
But I’m not enough
I try to stay strong
But I’m not that tough
She’s poisoning herself
This shouldn’t be right
But if this is all you’ll ever be
I’ll have to give up this fight
Would you want this for me
To take after you
I wish you could see
How much more you could do