Conversation

I Love You

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August 28th, 2011

I like our phone conversations
Very few
But very long
I like hearing your voice
When I’m half asleep
Making me wish you were here
Like in the days
And early nights
Wrapping your arms around me
Holding me tight
You make things feel right
With your lips on mine
Or my cheek
My neck
You changed my life
I was a wreck
I thank you for that
Though you might not know
You make me happy
I hope it shows
You don’t leave my mind
Filled in thoughts
I wonder about you
Quite a lot
Some things unclear
I wanted to know how you feel
And when you said it
I couldn’t believe it was real
You love me too much
I didn’t know what to say
My mind lost in thoughts
So carried away
I haven’t forgot
These words in my head
You’re still on my mind
With these words left unsaid
They should speak for themself
But if you don’t know
I love you
Please don’t let me go

Fragile

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July 25th, 2011

It started with a look that turned into more. These conversations started slowly and are now what they once were before. The look turned into a kiss, and I closed my eyes. Mistake number one, what a surprise. Closed eyes cannot see. I let you get the best of me. Our lips together let you take my hand. It was what I wanted, but nothing was planned. In my bed, I slept confused. I no longer felt so abused. I let you bring back my smile. It was gone for quite some while. I woke up alone, and that’s how I now feel. Please tell me all my thoughts aren’t real. I gave my body to a guy. I don’t know why, I can’t deny. My fragile sign has been ignored. All I wanted was to feel adored. There’s nothing left for us to say. I got confused and let you take me away.

Another Colbert Report (The Last Thing I’ll Write About You)

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January 5th, 2024

I was only back on Hinge
For a short two days
Before you liked my picture
I didn’t know what to say
I responded to your action
It took me eight days
Because when I first saw your name
I was not okay
It was the day after Christmas
I was feeling brave
Being optimistic 
I dug my own grave
I told you I was surprised
You ghosted me nine months ago
And that fucked me up
These things I needed you to know
I just never anticipated
Your name would light my phone again
You hurt me so deeply
Was I ready to let you back in
You told me you hoped I would message
You apologized for the past
We talked for two hours
A conversation I wanted to last
You had texted me to say goodnight
I didn’t hear from you for two days
Six texts exchanged 
And you drifted away 
Eight more days went by
You texted to say sorry for being MIA
But you won’t be available for “a long while”
Nothing about this was okay
I wasn’t going to respond
I’ve already said everything that I need to
But after an hour I sent you a link
To a fifteen page poem I wrote about you
I’m not expecting a response
Not sure you’ve even read it
But I can see you opened it three times
And everything I wrote feels good to admit
This wasn’t what I was expecting
How my year would start
That my optimistic naive self
Keeps letting the same guys break my heart
I’m still searching for the person
I’ll have coffee with in the morning
The one that I can call
When my eyes start pouring
I cried more over some random guy
Than I ever did for you
But nobody has ever made me feel
The hurt you put me through
I’ll never understand
How you moved on like I never existed
Or why you would want to hurt me again
You must be pretty twisted
At least you said goodbye this time
I got a little closure
Your name won’t light my phone again
This story is finally over