Urban

RIP Karissa Urban

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August 25th, 2022

I tried to work through our neverending strife
But it soon consumed my entire life
I weathered the storms of every ache
And there’s only so much a person can take
I tried to love you but you shut me out
Filled my head with nothing but doubt
You never understood my language of love
So I never felt anything but the lack thereof
When I was injured you only thought of gain
Leaving me to pick myself up in vain
You broke me with your absence of care
While I was belittled you stood and stared
You let your family speak to me with disdain
Bit your tongue which caused me pain
And when you apologized on my behalf
Your actions inscribed our epitaph

Invaluable

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July 14th, 2022

I let my world come crashing down
I could no longer hold it together
The ends of my last thread had frayed
And hanging on was too much pressure
Over the years I’ve given up hoping
That happiness could be in my life
But I was a victim of my circumstance
And realized I shouldn’t be a wife
Because my life is decided by me
I don’t want this state of confusion
I want to discover who I really am
I spent too much time in a delusion
So I let my world shatter piece by piece
Until I could no longer recognize it
I can change my hair, my job, my home
But these memories won’t let me forget
Everything I went through was for a reason
So I need to see this through
I never found out what it’s worth
But in the end I’ll find my value

The last poem I wrote before this was in April, titled “Whatever It’s Worth.” I might not know yet – but I’m getting there. (Photographed: April 2022-July 2022)

Treading

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November 16th, 2021

I’m running in this race
With no destination
My heart beats off pace
I don’t know which location
But my anxiety eats away
Like I’ve done something wrong
Constant imposter syndrome
When I just want to belong
A burst of inspiration
Is blown out like a flame
But the burning continues
I can still feel the pain
And I can’t help it sometimes
I feel like a burden
Using words against me
Is this life when you’re urban