Meticulous

January 4th, 2019

I’m a detail oriented person
I schedule all my plans
And the more I think that I’m on track
The further I feel that I am
I drafted a five-year plan
And I’m over half way through
My list is almost complete
Now I don’t know what to do
Five years seemed like a lot
I guess I never thought further
I don’t know what to do
Once my list is all over
What if I don’t finish
What if I get lost on my path
I’m not prepared for these decisions
Or what happens if I get off track
I’ve followed the directions
But navigating is not my expertise
And my GPS signal is lost
Life gives nothing guaranteed
So I’m waiting for the wrench
Or maybe it was already thrown
Only two years time will tell
To resolve my unknown

“You”

February 19th, 2007

I close my eyes and I imagine “you.” “You” and me. What do I mean by “you” and me – I do not know. I don’t know who “you” is. I’ve lost it, the feelings I used to know so well. All gone. All washed down the drain. Missing. I fade away from my heart. It can’t break if it’s not being used. So don’t use me. “You.” The unknown. So distant. But I want “you.” I want to know “you.” I want to love “you.” “You.” My secret. I don’t know “you.” But forever “you” is all that is on my mind. Perfection trapped in imagination. Love that is stopped at a limit. Someday I will meet “you.” Someday I will know “you.” Someday I will love “you.” Someday “you” will hurt me. Someday “you” will break my heart. But for now, “you” is no one. “You” is just my imagination. “You” is nothing more than pixels formed on the computer screen typed from my fingertips. “You.” Trapped in my brain. “You” is no one. Maybe I am crazy, but I need “you”. I need to meet “you,” I need to know “you,” I need to love “you.” For once I have met “you,” I will truly understand. I will finally end my wondering. “You” will complete me. “You.” Such strange letters. Why – oh – you. “You.” My mind has created “you.” Someday “you” will be more than imagination. I still want to know who “you” will be. Maybe “you” will read this. Until then, “you” is no one. “You.” No one. Nothing. “You,” My love. No one. “You.”

2007 (3)

Hoax

October 15th, 2018

What is my plan
Where am I going
I don’t know how to live
In my constant unknowing
Who am I
I don’t know anymore
I live my life in somber
I have nothing to speak for
I broke this image
That I could never wear
An innuendo of myself
That was never really there
I hide my melancholy
But it has only fostered
I don’t know how no one knows
That I’m nothing but an imposter