The Ending

December 11th, 2019

Time has passed
But I still ache
I told my truth
You let me break
Locked in my journal
The events that I transcribed
The feelings that I held
The medicine they prescribed
What happened can’t be changed
As I watched you drive away
We can’t alter the past
But we can start over today
Because in the midnight hours
When I was most vulnerable
You made a mistake
And we were irrecoverable
Because I am not an instrument
I’m not here to be played
I trusted too easily
Which left me betrayed
So if we see each other
There’s nothing to discuss
You made your decision
And left me with mistrust
All these songs know how I feel
And I can’t keep pretending
I’m worth more than an afterthought
So this must be the ending

Becoming

December 3rd, 2019

The year is coming to an end
But I want time to stop
I’m watching life pass me by
Like I’m stuck behind the backdrop
The decade began with tales of woe
A heart that was going to burst
So I gathered myself and looked in the mirror
I said “I’m going to put myself first”
Those words rang false as I hit the wall
A fist held tight on my neck
In a year’s time, I had forgotten my worth
A memory that I’ll always regret
But a wilted flower can still bloom
One can regain their stature
If you lock the door and walk away
There’s hope for another chapter
You can nurture seeds and watch them grow
Find love, find home, find marriage
You’re not confined to who you were
And a phase that was once disparaged
But smooth sailing can still storm
A moment can become cutthroat
So it’s sink or swim, but I know my place
And I’ve learned how to stay afloat
So as seconds countdown on the clock
I wish to not forget these days
As ten years time changes everything
And I’ve learned from my upraise

Hollow

November 12th, 2019

The months fly by
It’s so easy to forget
That as the calendar changes
It comes with new regrets
With a new year
There is not a new me
And no matter what I do
I am my reality
I was searching for myself
But I wasn’t enough
I turned to the wrong people
They left me all mixed up
You can’t leave
And not say goodbye
I pretend that I’m okay
But I still wonder why
You can’t cut me off
I know I’m worth more
You treated me like dirt
Yet I can’t lock the door
I hold on to memories
I want to let go
I’ll love the people who hurt me
Until I am hollow