Lucid

August 26th, 2019

It was a dream
But I was awake
Alone with these memories
I couldn’t fake
I looked at you
And in your eyes
I never thought
You’d tell me lies
I wore my innocence
My heart on my sleeve
You wore deception
And I wanted to believe
That I felt safe
Away from danger
I thought I knew you
But you were a stranger
You lit me up
And I felt the fire
Then I got burned
By the greed of desire
And in that night
You made your bed
Laid yourself down
And rested your head
I tried the same
But I couldn’t sleep
My devastation played
Again on repeat
I never knew you
Now I must grieve
A loss that only
I perceived

Fake

July 19th, 2009

I say it
But do I mean it
Is the question
I feel it
But is it the same way
I express it
I’ve felt pain
But is it the same way
Others feel it
I’ve had sad eyes
But was it real
Or just another white lie
I’ve been asleep
Or was I really
Just another performance
I’ve read things
But could you possibly read it
The same way I did
I see you
But are you what I want
Or what I need
And all I see
All I read
All I feel
All I fake
What I think
It all makes no sense
And once again I’m lost
I absorb all I can
I contradict myself
I see things that aren’t real
Or was it just what I didn’t want to see
And to hear my thoughts
You wouldn’t understand
And to feel my pain
It’s just too fake
And to look into my eyes
And further to what’s not real
Would you even see me
Would you understand me
You wouldn’t be able to take it in
No one understands
No one even tries
To feel the fake
To feel the lies
To see my world
Behind my eyes

Alive

July 13th, 2009

Fake as plastic
Real as pain
These unhappy thoughts
Run through my veins
They spread around
They make me feel
It hurts to know
It’s just too real
And there you are
Acting like I’m not here
You said you’d be the one who gets hurt
But that was me, my dear
I’m screaming so loud
Please just let me go
It’ll be a secret
No one needs to know
Closer to the edge
Heart beating stronger
And all that I thought was real
Couldn’t be wronger
Fake as the lies you spread
Real as the pain you put me through
Sinking in like quicksand
So slowly with nothing I can do
Story of my life
I can’t believe you lied
So slowly you killed me
But I’ve never felt more alive than when I died

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