Dating Chronicles

December 18th, 2023

I think about the past more than now and then
Too many nights drowning my pain in the arms of other men
Supplements are not supplementing what’s not there
So I’m buckling at my knees and proceeding nowhere
I’ve always ended things before someone else got the chance
I guess this is my circumstance
When they don’t value me in my presence
They can mourn me in my absence
When I said I don’t want this who was I trying to fool
I only said that because I’m running out of fuel
Potential won’t keep me warm at night
And at the end of the day it’s fight or flight
I’ve spent too long running from my emotions
I say that I’m ready but I lack the devotion
I wasn’t what they wanted and I’m not surprised
But I’m worth more than just a consolation prize

Run

February 19th, 2020

You used my pain
To your advantage
Of feelings that
I did not manage
A path that I
Could never change
Of memories that
I can’t exchange
With love left behind
In the past
Times of hope
That wouldn’t last
And I can’t hide
Or run away
So I sold my soul
To feel okay

Silent

September 12th, 2009

I tiptoe behind you
Silent and careful
I mustn’t make a sound
You don’t sense me
And your footsteps become mine
And to see the world
Only through your eyes
Would be a miracle
Because I’m caught in your drift
And I only see you
Slightly curious
Slightly stalking
You can run
And I’d keep walking
I take this trail
Without you knowing
You’re so emotionless
No feelings showing
And soon my path ends at your house
No other place that I should go
Ideas rushing too fast to slow down
Impulse is the only thing I know
And silence falls upon the night
A creaking sound outside your door
Was this the right thing to do
Falling silent on your floor

Note: I wrote some weird things ten years ago…