Past

Happy Ending

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June 11th, 2011

From the moment we first spoke
I knew you were what I wanted
You walked away though
And left my dreams haunted
One day it was weird though
I knew it was you
Walking towards me
I didn’t know what to do
I looked down
And you walked right by
My heart dropped
But then you turned to say hi
An awkward conversation
Left me wanting more
But with the year coming to an end
There was no knocking on my door
These guilty thoughts lingered
From time to time
There was no forgetting
And there was no rewind
And my relationship faded
And suddenly it couldn’t be
No more guilty thoughts
And you were again in front of me
A week of slow conversation
Left me wanting more
And when I met up with you
I couldn’t believe this anymore
After all the waiting
After all the time
I got my happy ending
With your lips pressed against mine

Mine

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June 1st, 2011

The idea of hazel eyes staring into mine
Like they once had before
Is enough to make the hours slow
The realization of the past
And all that it contains
Is still enough to give me hope
No idea if you ever felt the same for me
But my mind has its own reality
And my heart beats to its own drum
I can’t be controlled
I can’t be abused
Trying to leave me broken and bruised
But I’m not
I just can’t be
Someone slipped out of my memories
The idea how I felt before
The lust, the temptation, the allure
You can’t leave my mind
I’m feeling so blind
Just give me some sign
Do you want to be mine?

Note: I’ve jumped around with my poetry, posting between recent and past. I had paused sharing from 2011 because I reached the poems where my ex-husband and I started dating again after we broke up in high school. Since our divorce, I never fully dealt with those feelings and honestly tried to suppress them. However, they still surfaced and made it into my writing from time to time. Last month I found out he passed away, and I’ve been sorting through a lot of emotions. This feels like the right time to pause my 2025 work and share some throwback content instead.

Rest in peace, Thomas (11/26/1991-08/08/2025)