Dolls Aren’t Perfect

February 24th, 2005

Family’s tearing my life apart
Cutting me in half right through my heart
Teardrops falling from my eyes as I sing
Thinking about what tomorrow might bring

I don’t even feel safe at my home
My best friend’s telling me to run away
Writing my life at my own tone
As blurry visions conquer my day

Writing the blues of the Doll family
We show Dolls aren’t perfect so everyone can see
On the side of my house is a rainbow
All the colors are black and gray though

My parents are divorced, two different homes
But at either one I still feel all alone
There’s no place for safe dwelling
So I’m locked in my room listening to the yelling

Dad’s at work in Morgan Hill
I can’t call him though
It would run up the phone bill
But I’d feel safer at his house

Mom took away the Play Station 2
Robert doesn’t know what he should do
As he’s turning on all the lights in the house
I’m in my room as quiet as a mouse

Mom’s telling the boys to go live at our dads
This family has drove me mad
Kevin again acting like he’s something
But now I know for sure he’s nothing

Steven’s throwing more stuff at Mom’s door
There’s a dent in it and an incense holder on the floor
Robert’s pointing it all out to me, surprised
And I’m losing my mind right before my eyes

I’ve been in my room all day
And to my family I’ve stayed out of the way
My best friend told me to see Mrs. Todd
And I’m telling her that counseling is odd 

Doll’s aren’t perfect
And neither are we
Doll’s aren’t perfect
But nobody will ever be

Note: I can’t believe I wrote this exactly 21 years ago!

We Listen & We Don’t Judge

January 17th, 2025

Hi, my name is Karissa
And I worry about my vices
I know I’m self destructive
When I’m left to my own devices
I don’t think I’m an addict
Is it too soon for this meeting
Can preventative care be a measure
When recovery isn’t fleeting
I’ve seen my mom’s struggles
I know the things she won’t admit
The last meeting I attended was with her
When I was just a kid
I always quit things cold turkey
Because moderation is tough
And it leaves me wondering
If dry January is enough
I’m hearing how easy it is
To lose all control
And fall down deep
Into the addiction rabbit hole
As a child of an addict
I try to take precaution
And taking breaks from my vices
Should I do this more often
I don’t know where this is going
But I know I’m glad that I came
Reminding myself “Just Another Drink
Can be a slippery game

Inheritance

December 3rd, 2024

Life was never as hard for me
As when I thought it was easy
Because I look at trauma it caused
And it still makes me feel uneasy
You had the money to pay the bills
But I paid with my childhood
Cleaning up your vodka bottles
And wishing things were good
When I grew up I got married
And the cycle then repeated
I found the hidden vodka bottles
And feared I’d been defeated
But I broke free from you
So I broke free from him
Even when it was uncomfortable
I pushed myself out on a limb
Because love is not an apology
For doing the same things again
So I had to break the pattern
And move on from where I’ve been
Now I do dry January every year
Knowing I could be just a drink away
From becoming just like you or him
And I’ll always choose a different way
You raised me to think this was normal
So I don’t know if I can ever forgive you
But I hope I found the end to the story
That I never planned to continue