Right Back At The Beginning

November 29th, 2009

I miss the security of knowing when to be let down
that’s the only thing I could ever count on you to do
and I thought I lost that
I thought I overcame that feeling
but moving on
means getting let down
over and over again
maybe it’s what I deserved
maybe the past caught up with me
maybe what’s meant to be will be
and this is it
nothing more
this is all I have to be looking for
disappointment seeks its way to me
there’s no way to leave
this is it
this is what I live for
I’m sick of being a waste of time
I’m sick of having nothing else to find
I’m sick of mixed emotions
I’m sick of thinking of devotion
I’m sick of winding up where I was at the start
I’m sick of these feelings tearing me apart
I’m so tired of not knowing what to do
and ending up crawling towards something new
but in the end, it never works out
and from the start, I’d always have my doubts
and the end always comes
so unplanned
and it always ends that way
this is it
nothing new
I was nothing special to you
years ago it was all the same
I’m sick of being played, game after game
but if that’s life, why am I still living
I’m sick of ending up at the start
right back to the beginning

I’m Not Yours

July 23rd, 2009

You make me hear the colors
Make me feel the sounds
Make my heart beat faster
Make me scream out loud

There’s something in this feeling
Something I can’t hide
Something in you
Something’s getting to me now

[Pre-Chorus:]
And I don’t know
How much longer
I
Can
Take it

[Chorus:]
You’re here, then you’re not
I move on, you pull back
Up and down, left and right
I’m looking all around
I want you, to want me
And I know, that you know
But the only time I matter
Is when – I’m not yours

There’s something so relaxing
Something makes me feel alive
And as attention’s missing
I go off on my own

There’s something about the pain
Something about what you are
Something about the situation
I’m on the edge of defeat

[Pre-Chorus:]
And I don’t know
How much longer
I
Can
Take it

[Chorus:]
You’re here, then you’re not
I move on, you pull back
Up and down, left and right
I’m looking all around
I want you, to want me
And I know, that you know
But the only time I matter
Is when – I’m not yours

And here we go again
I’m being pushed away
I can’t take this game
Just stop playing me

[Pre-Chorus:]
And I don’t know
How much longer
I
Can
Take it

[Chorus:]
You’re here, then you’re not
I move on, you pull back
Up and down, left and right
I’m looking all around
I want you, to want me
And I know, that you know
But the only time I matter
Is when – I’m not yours

So, I’m not yours…

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Fly Away

July 20th, 2009

Some people are helpless
That’s not me
I’m going to be saved
The angels will come
I will be free
I need help
But to admit that
Is to admit I have a problem
But admitting my problem
Will save me in the end
Or maybe I’ll just drown more
Hollow veins
Blood runs dry
I’ve been emptied
I gave you everything I had
Those black eyes
They took my soul
They sucked me in
And this was no game to be playing
But I played
And I lost
Now all I see
Is colorless
Black blood
Draining me
Black eyes
Watching me
Red skies
Taking over beauty
And it’s gone
The lights go out
I lost my faith
Stolen from my weakened grip
I held on ‘til death
But I had no choice
I was in no condition
For a tug-a-war against you
I’d only loose
I’m only weak
And you have it all
My lungs are empty
I’ve lost my air
And taking my last breath
You left me there
And with my wings
You flew away
You left me here
To die this day