December 14th, 2009
I think I played your game
But I don’t know if you care
You still came to see for yourself
Why are you always there
I just can’t hide away
I’m always in plain sight
You know where to find me
And we know that it’s not right
Why do I feel these things
You’re tearing me in two
I’m in a good place in my life
Until I get that look from you
Sparks are flying inside me
These butterflies won’t die
I need to make a decision
Before I have to lie
December 12th, 2009
You have to know I write about you
There’s no way that you don’t
I’d say I’d let you read this
But I know that I won’t
I’d say I don’t look for you
But we both know that’s not true
Every time you’re around me
I don’t know what to do
I’m counting down the days
Until we make this move
Maybe I won’t see you
But what would that prove
I know that this is wrong
But I want to know your feelings
But what if I don’t want to hear
The information you’d be revealing
We go back and forth
Like this is some kind of game
And I don’t know that it’s not
And what if you feel the same
We are getting so close
What happens when this ends
Do we move on like it never happened
And continue to pretend
November 29th, 2009
I miss the security of knowing when to be let down
that’s the only thing I could ever count on you to do
and I thought I lost that
I thought I overcame that feeling
but moving on
means getting let down
over and over again
maybe it’s what I deserved
maybe the past caught up with me
maybe what’s meant to be will be
and this is it
nothing more
this is all I have to be looking for
disappointment seeks its way to me
there’s no way to leave
this is it
this is what I live for
I’m sick of being a waste of time
I’m sick of having nothing else to find
I’m sick of mixed emotions
I’m sick of thinking of devotion
I’m sick of winding up where I was at the start
I’m sick of these feelings tearing me apart
I’m so tired of not knowing what to do
and ending up crawling towards something new
but in the end, it never works out
and from the start, I’d always have my doubts
and the end always comes
so unplanned
and it always ends that way
this is it
nothing new
I was nothing special to you
years ago it was all the same
I’m sick of being played, game after game
but if that’s life, why am I still living
I’m sick of ending up at the start
right back to the beginning
Doll Poetry 