Dolls Aren’t Perfect

February 24th, 2005

Family’s tearing my life apart
Cutting me in half right through my heart
Teardrops falling from my eyes as I sing
Thinking about what tomorrow might bring

I don’t even feel safe at my home
My best friend’s telling me to run away
Writing my life at my own tone
As blurry visions conquer my day

Writing the blues of the Doll family
We show Dolls aren’t perfect so everyone can see
On the side of my house is a rainbow
All the colors are black and gray though

My parents are divorced, two different homes
But at either one I still feel all alone
There’s no place for safe dwelling
So I’m locked in my room listening to the yelling

Dad’s at work in Morgan Hill
I can’t call him though
It would run up the phone bill
But I’d feel safer at his house

Mom took away the Play Station 2
Robert doesn’t know what he should do
As he’s turning on all the lights in the house
I’m in my room as quiet as a mouse

Mom’s telling the boys to go live at our dads
This family has drove me mad
Kevin again acting like he’s something
But now I know for sure he’s nothing

Steven’s throwing more stuff at Mom’s door
There’s a dent in it and an incense holder on the floor
Robert’s pointing it all out to me, surprised
And I’m losing my mind right before my eyes

I’ve been in my room all day
And to my family I’ve stayed out of the way
My best friend told me to see Mrs. Todd
And I’m telling her that counseling is odd 

Doll’s aren’t perfect
And neither are we
Doll’s aren’t perfect
But nobody will ever be

Note: I can’t believe I wrote this exactly 21 years ago!

My Angel

January 11th, 2025

One year since you’ve been gone
I was trying to plan a visit
Not seeing you one more time
Is something I will always regret
One and a half years
I knew that you were dying
And I said that I don’t
But you had me crying
When I found out
And the day that you died
Two of the last times
That I really cried
11/10 and 1/11
I see the ones in the days
You taught me angel numbers
And I know you’re looking my way
Keeping an eye on me
An angel in the sky
But no matter how much time spent
It was not enough before goodbye

Middle School

2004

I thought I escaped them
But now they’re back
This is my home
But they don’t understand
I can’t stand them anymore
And my parents don’t listen
When I want to escape them
And go to my friends
The answer’s always no
So to escape them
I have to go to school
I wouldn’t say it’s worse
But it doesn’t really help
Everyone hates me
That’s middle school for you
One minute you have friends
And the next you don’t
No matter what I do
Where I go
Where I hide
There’s always someone
Watching me
Haunting me
Following me
Telling me to do this
Do that
There’s no easy way out
So I sit here writing 
It helps the pain get out