Inadmissible

September 22nd, 2025

I’ve been lost in your perception 
Since the last time that we kissed
I am tired of you weighing me down
It’s been years of this
You shouldn’t have reached out
When I opted for silence
I was choosing myself
Because you didn’t want alliance
I’ve pulled back a lot
But this silence is draining
And I’m finding some clarity
That this isn’t sustaining
I search our old conversations
Evidence that we existed
But outside of messages
No pictures or things gifted
I know I wasn’t always right
But that doesn’t make me wrong
Because I spent years putting out fires
That you were starting all along
You lit the bridge to watch me burn
Attrition couldn’t come quicker
I mourn the ghost of who we never were
All we ever amounted to was a flicker
You made me the scapegoat
Vindicated in your excuses
Then you discarded all the evidence
To forget you wouldn’t choose this

The Actual Ugly Truth

June 11th, 2025

I’m finally opening my eyes
And letting myself embrace the validity
I filled my head with excuses you’d never give
You’ve probably laughed at my stupidity
I gave you endless patience
That you had never earned
And I abandoned all the things
That I knew I really deserved
Someone who actually wanted me
Wouldn’t leave me in this confusion
And I can’t even blame you
When I’m the one who built the illusion
You told me time and time again
Through your actions and your words
You’re “just not that interested”
I’m not what you’re moving towards
So I’m sorry I never listened
And I’m sorry for being clueless
But I need to apologize to myself
For waiting for you to choose this

Personal Note: Off subject, but I just wanted to share a small moment for my brother TJ, who passed away on this day four years ago (12/15/2021). I hope you’re resting in peace.