Dolls Aren’t Perfect

February 24th, 2005

Family’s tearing my life apart
Cutting me in half right through my heart
Teardrops falling from my eyes as I sing
Thinking about what tomorrow might bring

I don’t even feel safe at my home
My best friend’s telling me to run away
Writing my life at my own tone
As blurry visions conquer my day

Writing the blues of the Doll family
We show Dolls aren’t perfect so everyone can see
On the side of my house is a rainbow
All the colors are black and gray though

My parents are divorced, two different homes
But at either one I still feel all alone
There’s no place for safe dwelling
So I’m locked in my room listening to the yelling

Dad’s at work in Morgan Hill
I can’t call him though
It would run up the phone bill
But I’d feel safer at his house

Mom took away the Play Station 2
Robert doesn’t know what he should do
As he’s turning on all the lights in the house
I’m in my room as quiet as a mouse

Mom’s telling the boys to go live at our dads
This family has drove me mad
Kevin again acting like he’s something
But now I know for sure he’s nothing

Steven’s throwing more stuff at Mom’s door
There’s a dent in it and an incense holder on the floor
Robert’s pointing it all out to me, surprised
And I’m losing my mind right before my eyes

I’ve been in my room all day
And to my family I’ve stayed out of the way
My best friend told me to see Mrs. Todd
And I’m telling her that counseling is odd 

Doll’s aren’t perfect
And neither are we
Doll’s aren’t perfect
But nobody will ever be

Note: I can’t believe I wrote this exactly 21 years ago!

Autonomy

March 13th, 2020

You twist my arm
Like I’m a plastic toy
I said I’m not a Doll
But it’s pain that you enjoy
You turn me around
Like my path is easily altered
But I can make my own choices
Even if you think I’ll falter
You throw your words
Like a knife into my back
You want me to need you
But love doesn’t work like that

Inception

January 21st, 2020

I’m coming undone
Like the buttons of my blouse
The end of a long day
Victim to dreams of the doll house
Childhood bottled up
Unraveling with time
Innocence unnurtured
Nature of my mind
Love came at a price
That I could not afford
I must have gone bankrupt
When you cut the umbilical cord