Decision

Invaluable

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July 14th, 2022

I let my world come crashing down
I could no longer hold it together
The ends of my last thread had frayed
And hanging on was too much pressure
Over the years I’ve given up hoping
That happiness could be in my life
But I was a victim of my circumstance
And realized I shouldn’t be a wife
Because my life is decided by me
I don’t want this state of confusion
I want to discover who I really am
I spent too much time in a delusion
So I let my world shatter piece by piece
Until I could no longer recognize it
I can change my hair, my job, my home
But these memories won’t let me forget
Everything I went through was for a reason
So I need to see this through
I never found out what it’s worth
But in the end I’ll find my value

The last poem I wrote before this was in April, titled “Whatever It’s Worth.” I might not know yet – but I’m getting there. (Photographed: April 2022-July 2022)

To A New Year

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December 21st, 2021

Trying to process this year
But time has been frozen
I don’t know what to do
With this life I haven’t chosen
So much has happened
In only one year
So much change
And people who disappear
How do I proceed
When a new year awaits
What will I decide
When the world celebrates

You See Me

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December 14th, 2009

I think I played your game
But I don’t know if you care
You still came to see for yourself
Why are you always there
I just can’t hide away
I’m always in plain sight
You know where to find me
And we know that it’s not right
Why do I feel these things
You’re tearing me in two
I’m in a good place in my life
Until I get that look from you
Sparks are flying inside me
These butterflies won’t die
I need to make a decision
Before I have to lie

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