June 9th, 2011
I can’t help but wonder how this happened so fast
But I’m so scared that again it won’t last
I’ve been given another chance and I won’t let it go
I’ve been longing for this more than anyone knows
I write you away, but you won’t leave my mind
The idea of you just makes me feel blind
I wanted you from the very start
And I watched us slowly fall apart
If things fall into place, that will be the rest
Now all I can do is hope for the best
June 1st, 2011
I’m feeling like I once had before
I’m messing with my past’s allure
The memories just make me melt
Some things I just forgot I felt
June 1st, 2011
The idea of hazel eyes staring into mine
Like they once had before
Is enough to make the hours slow
The realization of the past
And all that it contains
Is still enough to give me hope
No idea if you ever felt the same for me
But my mind has its own reality
And my heart beats to its own drum
I can’t be controlled
I can’t be abused
Trying to leave me broken and bruised
But I’m not
I just can’t be
Someone slipped out of my memories
The idea how I felt before
The lust, the temptation, the allure
You can’t leave my mind
I’m feeling so blind
Just give me some sign
Do you want to be mine?
Note: I’ve jumped around with my poetry, posting between recent and past. I had paused sharing from 2011 because I reached the poems where my ex-husband and I started dating again after we broke up in high school. Since our divorce, I never fully dealt with those feelings and honestly tried to suppress them. However, they still surfaced and made it into my writing from time to time. Last month I found out he passed away, and I’ve been sorting through a lot of emotions. This feels like the right time to pause my 2025 work and share some throwback content instead.
Rest in peace, Thomas (11/26/1991-08/08/2025)