Inheritance

December 3rd, 2024

Life was never as hard for me
As when I thought it was easy
Because I look at trauma it caused
And it still makes me feel uneasy
You had the money to pay the bills
But I paid with my childhood
Cleaning up your vodka bottles
And wishing things were good
When I grew up I got married
And the cycle then repeated
I found the hidden vodka bottles
And feared I’d been defeated
But I broke free from you
So I broke free from him
Even when it was uncomfortable
I pushed myself out on a limb
Because love is not an apology
For doing the same things again
So I had to break the pattern
And move on from where I’ve been
Now I do dry January every year
Knowing I could be just a drink away
From becoming just like you or him
And I’ll always choose a different way
You raised me to think this was normal
So I don’t know if I can ever forgive you
But I hope I found the end to the story
That I never planned to continue

Predicament

March 30th, 2011

My eyes closed tight
I cannot see
It’s not my responsibility
You made this mess
You clean it too
There’s no way of avoiding you
You look at me
Like I’m a disgrace
It’s written all across your face
Just close my eyes
I cannot see
You cannot blame this all on me
I was so young
So naive
It was not my fault you wanted to leave

Just Another Drink

February 23rd, 2011

Just one more sip
But somehow the bottle’s already gone
It never stays full for long
She lays in her room
She knows nothing’s okay
She knows she’s right
But it’s all wrong

Through a night’s sleep
The day disappears
It just disappears
It’s already gone

Just another drink
And another bottle
Things fall apart
The roots so deep
What you’ve come to be
Just another drink

So unforgiving
It won’t leave her glass
This isn’t her
It’s all just a blur
But I see so clear
The ending so near
Of my loss of faith

Another drop
And my heart stops
It can no longer feel

I’ve become so numb
I’m just too young
To know who you’ve become
Would you want that for me
To do as I see
To give up everything
For just another drink