Wish

Your Wish

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2003 (6th Grade)

You don’t have to say it
I already know
You never have to
Put on a show

You never have to
Hide behind the curtain
Just come out here
And tell me yourself

[Chorus:]
If you wish on a shooting star – I’ll come
If you travel 1,000 miles to see me
I’ll give you my heart
If that is your wish

If you wished the same thing I did
Maybe you will see
It ain’t really easy
To be me

If I told you the other wish
It might come true
But then I’ll have to
Hide behind myself

[Chorus:]
If you wish on a shooting star – I’ll come
If you travel 1,000 miles to see me
I’ll give you my heart
If that is your wish

Maybe it’s fun to be embarrassed
You don’t know me
And I don’t know you
Maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be

[Chorus:]
If you wish on a shooting star – I’ll come
If you travel 1,000 miles to see me
I’ll give you my heart
If that is your wish

Thirty-One

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January 25th, 2024

I know I promised myself
I wouldn’t write about you anymore
But today is your birthday
And I haven’t locked the door
I looked at your Hinge profile
You’re another year older
I don’t know why I can’t move on
When this is irreparably over
It’s been just over a year since I saw you last
You were twenty-nine and now you’re thirty-one
You probably feel like you dodged a bullet
While I’m feeling like you shot me with one
My heart hurts for that version of me
Who got that cruel message from you
But I dyed my hair purple while faking my smile
And I still wished you a happy thirtieth too
I’ve never written a poem longer than six pages
But with you I couldn’t stop
So when you opened that fifteen page poem
I wonder what you thought
Maybe it will be your Roman Empire
And maybe one day you’ll find your redemption arc
But no future apology from you
Will ever relight our spark

Don’t Come Back

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January 18th, 2024

I thought I was done writing about you
But I have so much left to say
The first time you disappeared
I put my feelings on layaway
Then when you came back
I turned my read receipts on
Just so you could see
When I wouldn’t respond
Throwing boundaries out the window
Like where did they go
You said you didn’t want a relationship
So why didn’t I say no
Trying to not fall
Every time you’d say hello
But you wouldn’t let me in
And you wouldn’t let me go
I thought I could end things
I tried to walk away
You told me you were lonely
Messaged me every day
Until Thanksgiving when I caved
Now you say we shouldn’t see each other anymore
Trying to take control of the situation
Like that wasn’t what I said before
We went back and forth
A tug of war for power
We were on and off
Until things turned sour 
I wish that I had known back then
When I picked you up from Hot Mulligan
There’d only be four more times
That I would see you again
If you ever try to reach out
You can see the last text I sent you
I made a clear expectation
Of things you wouldn’t do
I don’t want to talk to you anymore
But you have my keyboard and mouse
At least I know that you have
A reminder of me in your house
I’m rereading our conversations
I thought you were my person
I’m grieving your absence
You’ve lost me for certain
I’m broken into pieces
Compassion is what you lack
And like Tate McRae said
“I hope you don’t come back”