November 5th, 2019
I don’t know what I’m doing
But I just keep going
I try to hide who I am
But my anxiety is showing
I’ll crumble into pieces
If you look me in my eyes
Because all of my walls
Have become my disguise
I try not to care
But they know that I do
I feel everything
Even when I don’t want to
I try to be strong
And that’s not enough
So easily
They call my bluff
I’m just not okay
But I think that’s okay
I’ve made it before
I can get through today
September 23rd, 2019
I want to hate myself
For what I did to me
But I don’t know how
This was something I didn’t foresee
I blame myself
When this wasn’t my fault
But I can’t let go
Even when forgiving is my default
I want to condone myself
For all the blame I take
But I can’t help myself
When others seal my fate
I try to love myself
I try to climb my walls
But I can’t fix myself
When forgiveness is my downfall
August 16th, 2009
Cold hands
Small smile
Keep me around
And I’ll stay awhile
Take your time
I won’t take mine
I’m not waiting for you
To make up your mind
Be my friend
And I’ll be yours
But I’m not strong
I can’t be your cure
You’ve been hurt
I’ve been hurt too
So I’m not staying
To get hurt by you
Something so new
Something so bright
But if you wait too long
Time will turn out the light
And my sad eyes
Get carried away
I can’t make up my mind
With someone new every day
Moving on from the past
Just took way too long
And every step I took
Felt out of place and wrong
My feet dragged so heavily
But time has passed since then
I can now take off the weight
I can walk fine again
The past left so fast
It was too hard to breathe
Knowing someone just left you
That you thought wouldn’t leave
And searching for that feeling
That you could only find there
Takes a bit of time
And letting your heart tear
You have to open up
You have to let yourself be free
And I’m trying the best I can
Looking for something new in me
Then something happened
You made me feel again
But when I first met you
I never felt you’d be more than a friend
I kissed you in my dream
And it just felt so real
And when I woke up
I wanted to know how it feels
And I’ve lost myself
Anticipation has me staring at walls
And I wonder once I space back in
If this is this how it feels to fall?
Doll Poetry 