Inside The Shell

January 10th, 2025

Trust is something
I don’t know how to give
Because I moved on
But I still can’t forgive
The person who should’ve been there
Left me alone and broken
Pushed me into a shell of myself
Until I was no longer outspoken
Crippled me into a “tolerable” version
Where I was living a lie
And after all of these years
I still find it hard to cry
I should have been happy
Because I was married
But they left me with these feelings
That I can’t keep buried
How can I trust someone new
When my spouse broke my hope
I longed for a connection
They didn’t want to know
When I needed them most
They were not there
I reached out for help
And they didn’t even care
I was over being neglected
I was their last priority
Now how am I supposed to trust
That anyone can show up for me
After three years I’m still healing
Because I carry this burden
From the decade that I spent
Trying to love an Urban

Til Death Do Us Part

March 23rd, 2024

Every once in a while in my mind
I catch myself reminiscing
A love I know I’ll never forget
But there was always something missing
Thinking about it is surreal
My twenties feel like a different life
Spent with my high school sweetheart
A time I found myself as a wife
For years fighting the truth
Like a scene on a stage
The ideas lingered in my mind
But they never left my page
After a while of denial
I could no longer fight
“You can go fuck yourself”
He said to me with spite
Not wanting to admit
There was no love left
Playing the victim
But never confessed
He was the one who broke me
I grieved for a year before leaving
And I took the title of the bad guy
Because it seemed to be believing
I was never a suspect
Now here I am under arrest
Feeling like I got hit by a car
And he acted under duress
I know he didn’t love me anymore
Or at least not like he did before
Picking everything over me
What’d he do that for
I gave all that I could
And he took me for a joke
I didn’t know what else to do
With this heart of mine he broke
I needed to depart
He put me through turmoil
There was nothing left to do
Once he let my love spoil
Now I find him in little crevices
I didn’t know exist
He left his mark on me
In more ways than I can list
But I washed my hands of this
Until my knuckles cracked and bled
We said “til death do us part”
And Karissa Urban is dead

My Revolution

December 9th, 2022

My life was a series of snoozed alarms
I was keeping everything on pause
With six months of poems that I never wrote
I started to embrace these flaws
I pretended that I wasn’t phased
When tragedy fell wherever I went
Because I followed myself everywhere I’d go
So this is my letter of intent
I can build a better story in my head
So that is what I will do
I’ll put myself through agony
To see how I can make it through
These tears I cry are golden
Because I know I will overcome
These feelings that went unwritten
That I can no longer hide from