Stay

I Hope You’re Happy Now

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September 6th, 2009

The darkness reached out, only to find my hand, and it was all so unplanned, but I went along with it anyway. This was a different side, the one everyone tells me is right, but why does it feel so wrong to the point I’m forced to hide it then, and why is everyone trying to pry it out of me. Time takes the best of me, and I need as much as I can to figure out myself, but it keeps yanking, and I can’t hold on anymore. How do you keep something inside that’s dying to get out, words that you’re proud of but ashamed of who you are with how you feel. I can change who I am, but I’m scared, and the trust isn’t out there for the comfort of my secrets to find. So they stay written in stories, hidden in words, read them between the lines if you want to know. How could you do that to me, you put me on the spot, you try to break me, and half the time I can’t see why I bother to call you a friend. Tell me I’m going to hell, and I hope you realize you’re the one sending me there, pushing something on me that I’m not ready to confront myself about, yet along with you. This wasn’t how I wanted you to find out, but if it worked, I hope you’re happy now.

(Originally Posted Here)

Falling Over The Past

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August 16th, 2009

Cold hands
Small smile
Keep me around
And I’ll stay awhile
Take your time
I won’t take mine
I’m not waiting for you
To make up your mind
Be my friend
And I’ll be yours
But I’m not strong
I can’t be your cure
You’ve been hurt
I’ve been hurt too
So I’m not staying
To get hurt by you
Something so new
Something so bright
But if you wait too long
Time will turn out the light
And my sad eyes
Get carried away
I can’t make up my mind
With someone new every day
Moving on from the past
Just took way too long
And every step I took
Felt out of place and wrong
My feet dragged so heavily
But time has passed since then
I can now take off the weight
I can walk fine again
The past left so fast
It was too hard to breathe
Knowing someone just left you
That you thought wouldn’t leave
And searching for that feeling
That you could only find there
Takes a bit of time
And letting your heart tear
You have to open up
You have to let yourself be free
And I’m trying the best I can
Looking for something new in me
Then something happened
You made me feel again
But when I first met you
I never felt you’d be more than a friend
I kissed you in my dream
And it just felt so real
And when I woke up
I wanted to know how it feels
And I’ve lost myself
Anticipation has me staring at walls
And I wonder once I space back in
If this is this how it feels to fall?

Blue Eyes (Tell Lies)

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May 27th, 2009

You’re that feeling inside me that won’t go away
You stare me down in the mirror every day
You’re the one saying stay quiet because you aren’t tough
You’re that voice in my head saying I’m not good enough
You’re that voice that judges me every day
Puts me down in every possible way
Attaching to me and pulling down my walls
Watching me crumble while they fall
You look me in the eyes and expect me to blink
I know what you’re doing ‘cause I’m smarter than you think
You hold me back just so you can grow stronger
And you label it friendship, but I can’t stay any longer
You like to see me cry when I break
And your smile has grown to look so fake
I look at you just searching for something but lies
But they shine from your smile and up to your blue eyes