October 31st, 2022
Keep my walls up
I can’t do this again
Nothing is permanent
So I don’t write in pen
Don’t let them know me
This culture I hate
I’m learning this game
About how to date
At the start
I didn’t know the rules
Not staying guarded
Made me look like a fool
Now I’m fully closed
I won’t let them know
Funny after seven months
This is all I have to show
November 4th, 2018
Everyday I wake up and look in the mirror
I smile and say I’m fine
But I know that’s not the truth
When I’m living a life that’s not mine
Some people know my story
Some say they’re thankful to meet someone like them
But when they see the real me
They walk away because they can’t comprehend
That I actually have a disease
My depression is not a trend
My anxiety is crippling
And I just needed a friend
But they take the first out that they get
Because friends come and go
And I can’t get too close
To someone who doesn’t know
Because I drop my walls
To those who don’t say goodbye
It’s hard to stop myself
When I don’t have to live my lie
But people don’t like the real me
They want the version I don’t know
So I will keep my distance
With a smile and a show
Note: I read a new poem this week. If you can’t tell, I was unpracticed and extremely nervous. However, this is the real me.
May 31st, 2018
What do I feel
I’m not sure I know
I carry this burden
Because I can’t let it go
A glimpse of hope
I watch disappear
I’d say that I’m okay
But I am nowhere near
What are these feelings
I’m not sure
To decode inside my head
Is nothing but a blur
This is an emergency
That no one can solve
And the more I try to change
The issue evolves
All strings are attached
I don’t want to play
If you get too close
I always push away
So what is the problem
They always ask
Maybe they won’t think I’m crazy
If I put on a mask
So I will smile
And say I’m fine
Everyone should know
Never to trust that line
Doll Poetry 