Solitude

October 12th, 2023

I manage my expectations by expecting the worst
Then I tackle my problems by diving head first
And I keep a shoe ready in hand
So the other won’t drop before the moment I planned
I’ve lived my life in survival mode
Meticulously analyzed every crossroad
And I will freeze before I fight or flight
So I can justify why I am right
So I built my walls without a door
There’s no getting in without a war
I’m stuck in a realm of constant distrust
Because I’ve lost my mind in love and lust
I’ve been hurt time and time again
I live my life playing pretend
I need people but let them go
I’d rather suffer than let it show

My Revolution

December 9th, 2022

My life was a series of snoozed alarms
I was keeping everything on pause
With six months of poems that I never wrote
I started to embrace these flaws
I pretended that I wasn’t phased
When tragedy fell wherever I went
Because I followed myself everywhere I’d go
So this is my letter of intent
I can build a better story in my head
So that is what I will do
I’ll put myself through agony
To see how I can make it through
These tears I cry are golden
Because I know I will overcome
These feelings that went unwritten
That I can no longer hide from

Comprehension

May 13th, 2011

In the end
How do you even comprehend
How do you know what was real
It’s not how I imagined I’d feel
From the start
Did you know we’d fall apart
Did you imagine this would be it
How easy love is to forget
In the middle
Communication begins to dwindle
Feelings begin to fade
My love cast into shade
Right before
No longer so sure
The loss of allure
I don’t want this anymore
At this time
I know you crossed the line
I feel like I lost half my heart
Did you want us to fall apart
In the end
I could no longer pretend
And I can’t even look at you
With everything you’ve put me through