Moving

Tortured Artists Yield Loss Over Remembrance: Acceptance

/ DollPoetry.com / 6 Comments

April 20th, 2024

How can I call this the end
When we never really started
You got me attached to you
And then you departed
I’m tired of looking for people
That remind me of you
Because looking for you
Isn’t what I’m meant to do
We’re not Noah and Allie
This was my odyssey
Now it’s my manuscript
And you aren’t in my prophecy
Seeing you was like a river
Something that could consume me
And I could dive in
But I could never be happy
You called me a scaredy cat
As I ignored your fourth message in a row
But you maimed me first
We both needed to let go
Now that you’re a memory
It’s something I’m forced to keep
But I’m past the countless nights
I spent awake without sleep
Moving on from you
I spent three months sober
So I could fully accept
That things were actually over
You’ve got my computer accessories
I’ve got a recording of Sleep Talk
I lost someone who didn’t care about me
While you let someone who loved you walk
During the times you looked me in the eyes
I guess I mistook the semblance
I’m not sure how you could fake that
Now I yield loss over remembrance
You gained my trust
So you could break it
You wanted my love
So I let you take it
I am a fool
And I hate it
But in this crime
I was complaisant 
You were barely tangible
If I’m being realistic
And like you said
We never existed
And you might not know it yet
But I think I’m the loss of your life
You will never know the honor
Of having me as your wife
If they ask me how it ended, it didn’t
And I think I’m okay with that
Because like I’ve said before
I hope you don’t come back
So long, whoever you were
Because this was never fun
So I’ll continue with my search
Of looking for the one
There are 8 billion people in this world
And now I am most certain
That you were one of many
Who will never be my person

Note: This is part five of my pentalogy, which I’ll be posting in reverse order. The parts can be read independently, in sequence, or backward. While the date states I wrote this on April 20th, 2024, the poetry spans from pieces I began and left unfinished over the past two years. April 20th is the day the idea for this story first came to me, and I pulled all of my writing together. I spent about four months working on finishing this, and I’m excited to finally share it!

Tortured Artists Yield Loss Over Remembrance (The Pentalogy)

Part 1: Denial
Part 2: Anger
Part 3: Bargaining
Part 4: Depression
Part 5: Acceptance

The Vertigo of Letting Go

/ DollPoetry.com / 1 Comment

April 16th, 2024

There’s guys I gave four chances to
Won’t let there be a fifth
I fell for Mr. Colbert
But first I fell for Mr. Smith

Both of these guys
Had one too many chances
Won’t let there be another
Under any circumstances

[Chorus:]
But I see them in my dreams
And in the people I may know
And the thought of reuniting 
Still gives me vertigo
There’s a part of me that’s scared
And not ready to let them go
And trying to move on
There’s a part of me that’s hollow

They exist on paper
And in the corners of my mind
I spend more often than not
Trying to convince myself I’m fine

I miss who I was before
I met either of them in person
Never knew someone so little
For that I am most certain

[Chorus:]
But I see them in my dreams
And in the people I may know
And the thought of reuniting 
Still gives me vertigo
There’s a part of me that’s scared
And not ready to let them go
And trying to move on
There’s a part of me that’s hollow

They probably don’t remember it
All the details that I dwell
And missing them lacks logic
Because they put me through hell

And I need to give credit
Where credit is due
Megan Cromwell wrote the song
That inspired me to write this for both of you

[Chorus:]
But I see them in my dreams
And in the people I may know
And the thought of reuniting 
Still gives me vertigo
There’s a part of me that’s scared
And not ready to let them go
And trying to move on
There’s a part of me that’s hollow

And maybe I’m thankful
I never had to pick between either
They showed up at different times
And I ended up with neither

They cut the ties
They let me down
When I needed them most
They were nowhere to be found

[Chorus 2:]
And I saw them in my dreams
And in the people I may know
But we’ll never reunite
Because it’s time I let them go
A part of me was scared
And it still gives me vertigo 
But I’m still moving on
Filling the parts that they left hollow