January 9th, 2020
I search for a feeling
I’m not sure exists
I try to write it off
But the longing persists
I hold on to people
Who once left me broken
Because these feelings inside
Still want to be spoken
I feel like I’m observing
From inside of a mirror
I can’t save myself
How did I get here
December 3rd, 2019
The year is coming to an end
But I want time to stop
I’m watching life pass me by
Like I’m stuck behind the backdrop
The decade began with tales of woe
A heart that was going to burst
So I gathered myself and looked in the mirror
I said “I’m going to put myself first”
Those words rang false as I hit the wall
A fist held tight on my neck
In a year’s time, I had forgotten my worth
A memory that I’ll always regret
But a wilted flower can still bloom
One can regain their stature
If you lock the door and walk away
There’s hope for another chapter
You can nurture seeds and watch them grow
Find love, find home, find marriage
You’re not confined to who you were
And a phase that was once disparaged
But smooth sailing can still storm
A moment can become cutthroat
So it’s sink or swim, but I know my place
And I’ve learned how to stay afloat
So as seconds countdown on the clock
I wish to not forget these days
As ten years time changes everything
And I’ve learned from my upraise
November 8th, 2009
It’s crazy
how people you think you know
turn into
people you don’t.
Eyes wide
there’s so much you can’t see
though it is all real
but it doesn’t exist
because it was fake.
Loud noises
nothing that you want to hear
echo
ear to ear
make it stop
it’s not real
it’s fake
I don’t know these people.
I shake
and I can’t stop
but you can’t see it
because it’s not real
but it’s not fake
I feel it
I feel you
it’s crazy
I don’t know you.
I want to scream
but once I start
I fear
I’ll forget how to stop.
Quitting
don’t be a quitter
scream
and don’t stop.
I cry
and not the kind for pain
the kind
where you lose your mind.
I breathe
but not naturally
I force in the air
but it finds a way out
before reaching my lungs.
Inhale nothing
sink into myself
I can’t escape
you can’t escape
because you’re fighting
yourself.
I thought I knew
myself
you
the mirror
but I don’t.
I found a way
to comfort me
but inside
nothing’s what it is
you can’t see
what I can see.
I’m sinking
into myself
and it’s crazy;
But
I
don’t
know
you.
Doll Poetry 