Blue Eyes (Tell Lies)

May 27th, 2009

You’re that feeling inside me that won’t go away
You stare me down in the mirror every day
You’re the one saying stay quiet because you aren’t tough
You’re that voice in my head saying I’m not good enough
You’re that voice that judges me every day
Puts me down in every possible way
Attaching to me and pulling down my walls
Watching me crumble while they fall
You look me in the eyes and expect me to blink
I know what you’re doing ‘cause I’m smarter than you think
You hold me back just so you can grow stronger
And you label it friendship, but I can’t stay any longer
You like to see me cry when I break
And your smile has grown to look so fake
I look at you just searching for something but lies
But they shine from your smile and up to your blue eyes

That’s Where My Heart’s Breaking 💔

March 18th, 2005

Going under
Deep within my skin
Wondering why
You won’t let me in

Falling down
Right into myself
Going under
Deep within my skin

[Chorus:]
Under my skin, that’s where my heart’s breaking
Looking in the mirror at the life that I’ve been faking
Counting to the moment where I’ll never be awaking
So under my skin, that’s where my heart’s breaking

Under my skin
That’s where my heart beats
That’s where my blood flows
That’s where I lost my mind
That’s where you broke my heart

[Chorus:]
Under my skin, that’s where my heart’s breaking
Looking in the mirror at the life that I’ve been faking
Counting to the moment where I’ll never be awaking
So under my skin, that’s where my heart’s breaking

Under my skin
I’m lost in my mind
Impossible to win
And I’m never coming out again

[Chorus:]
Under my skin, that’s where my heart’s breaking
Looking in the mirror at the life that I’ve been faking
Counting to the moment where I’ll never be awaking
So under my skin, that’s where my heart’s breaking

 

2005 (3)

The Real Me

November 4th, 2018

Everyday I wake up and look in the mirror
I smile and say I’m fine
But I know that’s not the truth
When I’m living a life that’s not mine
Some people know my story
Some say they’re thankful to meet someone like them
But when they see the real me
They walk away because they can’t comprehend
That I actually have a disease
My depression is not a trend
My anxiety is crippling
And I just needed a friend
But they take the first out that they get
Because friends come and go
And I can’t get too close
To someone who doesn’t know
Because I drop my walls
To those who don’t say goodbye
It’s hard to stop myself
When I don’t have to live my lie
But people don’t like the real me
They want the version I don’t know
So I will keep my distance
With a smile and a show

Note: I read a new poem this week. If you can’t tell, I was unpracticed and extremely nervous. However, this is the real me.