April 16th, 2024
There’s guys I gave four chances to
Won’t let there be a fifth
I fell for Mr. Colbert
But first I fell for Mr. Smith
Both of these guys
Had one too many chances
Won’t let there be another
Under any circumstances
[Chorus:]
But I see them in my dreams
And in the people I may know
And the thought of reuniting
Still gives me vertigo
There’s a part of me that’s scared
And not ready to let them go
And trying to move on
There’s a part of me that’s hollow
They exist on paper
And in the corners of my mind
I spend more often than not
Trying to convince myself I’m fine
I miss who I was before
I met either of them in person
Never knew someone so little
For that I am most certain
[Chorus:]
But I see them in my dreams
And in the people I may know
And the thought of reuniting
Still gives me vertigo
There’s a part of me that’s scared
And not ready to let them go
And trying to move on
There’s a part of me that’s hollow
They probably don’t remember it
All the details that I dwell
And missing them lacks logic
Because they put me through hell
And I need to give credit
Where credit is due
Megan Cromwell wrote the song
That inspired me to write this for both of you
[Chorus:]
But I see them in my dreams
And in the people I may know
And the thought of reuniting
Still gives me vertigo
There’s a part of me that’s scared
And not ready to let them go
And trying to move on
There’s a part of me that’s hollow
And maybe I’m thankful
I never had to pick between either
They showed up at different times
And I ended up with neither
They cut the ties
They let me down
When I needed them most
They were nowhere to be found
[Chorus 2:]
And I saw them in my dreams
And in the people I may know
But we’ll never reunite
Because it’s time I let them go
A part of me was scared
And it still gives me vertigo
But I’m still moving on
Filling the parts that they left hollow
Love
Nothing But Words
April 14th, 2024
The words “I miss you”
I’ve learned as manipulation
I’m trying to forget the people
Who lied through all communication
The words “I need you”
Only said by those who leave
I’m trying to believe there are still good people
But am I being naive
The words “I love you”
I’ve only known with conditions
I’m trying to find the people
Who don’t speak these words as ammunition
Til Death Do Us Part
March 23rd, 2024
Every once in a while in my mind
I catch myself reminiscing
A love I know I’ll never forget
But there was always something missing
Thinking about it is surreal
My twenties feel like a different life
Spent with my high school sweetheart
A time I found myself as a wife
For years fighting the truth
Like a scene on a stage
The ideas lingered in my mind
But they never left my page
After a while of denial
I could no longer fight
“You can go fuck yourself”
He said to me with spite
Not wanting to admit
There was no love left
Playing the victim
But never confessed
He was the one who broke me
I grieved for a year before leaving
And I took the title of the bad guy
Because it seemed to be believing
I was never a suspect
Now here I am under arrest
Feeling like I got hit by a car
And he acted under duress
I know he didn’t love me anymore
Or at least not like he did before
Picking everything over me
What’d he do that for
I gave all that I could
And he took me for a joke
I didn’t know what else to do
With this heart of mine he broke
I needed to depart
He put me through turmoil
There was nothing left to do
Once he let my love spoil
Now I find him in little crevices
I didn’t know exist
He left his mark on me
In more ways than I can list
But I washed my hands of this
Until my knuckles cracked and bled
We said “til death do us part”
And Karissa Urban is dead
Doll Poetry 