Lonely

My Insecurities

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August 24th, 2023

The people I spend my time with
Don’t care to know me
I spend my days surrounded
But I still feel so lonely
I worry my friends only talk to me
Out of obligation
And the guys I like only see me
Because I’m the only one accepting their invitation
Or maybe it’s my broken mind
I surround myself with strangers
Longing for a connection I’ve never had
But letting someone too close presents danger
I’m raw, I’m real
These feelings only worsen
I’m a chore to the wrong people
And it’s always the wrong person
I need to face my truth
That I buried deep within
I’ll tell you how I feel
After crying from holding it in
Maybe I should run away
Leave while I still have dignity
Since I wonder if you are only in my life
Because I’m in proximity
I do more for people
Than they would ever do for me
And when I face the truth
I’m the reason I’ll never be happy

Whatever It’s Worth

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April 7th, 2022

For what it’s worth
I’m sorry
That this didn’t work
And you think I’m the jerk

For what it’s worth
I’m sorry
You throwing me against a wall
Eventually led to our downfall

For what it’s worth
I’m sorry
That when I needed you
You couldn’t come through

For what it’s worth
I’m sorry
When I was in a collision
You wouldn’t change your vision

For what it’s worth
I’m sorry
Your computer screen
Burned us like gasoline

For what it’s worth
I’m sorry
I felt so alone
When I arrived home

For what it’s worth
I’m sorry
I planned our anniversary trip
Then your guests sunk the ship

For what it’s worth
I’m sorry
I wanted to try
But I was your standby

For what it’s worth
I’m sorry
It took looking in a mirror
To make my loneliness so clear

For what it’s worth
I’m sorry
I learned to live without you
Through these things you can’t undo

So for what it’s worth
I’m sorry

It Doesn’t Matter

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December 13th, 2010

It doesn’t matter
How many people are around
I feel so empty
Drowned in the sound
I feel so distant
So far away
And no matter how close
I’m too far to stay
It doesn’t matter though
These people aren’t real
And even if they were
They don’t care how I feel
They don’t know how to love
They don’t know how to see
And in this lonely dark world
I’m still nobody
It doesn’t matter
It’s always been this way
The people don’t care
They don’t want to stay
Nobody cares
But I grew up this way
With no one around
There’s no need to run away
The mirror is my company
The mirror is so fake
The mirror is not my friend
The mirror deserves to break
I like contusions
I know that they’re real
I can see the pain
It’s something that can heal
I don’t like attachment
I don’t like to know
If they get too close
I have to let go
It doesn’t matter though
I grew up this way
Always alone
I don’t know how to stay
It doesn’t matter though
Everyone is fake
All alone
The mirror watches me break