Solitude

October 12th, 2023

I manage my expectations by expecting the worst
Then I tackle my problems by diving head first
And I keep a shoe ready in hand
So the other won’t drop before the moment I planned
I’ve lived my life in survival mode
Meticulously analyzed every crossroad
And I will freeze before I fight or flight
So I can justify why I am right
So I built my walls without a door
There’s no getting in without a war
I’m stuck in a realm of constant distrust
Because I’ve lost my mind in love and lust
I’ve been hurt time and time again
I live my life playing pretend
I need people but let them go
I’d rather suffer than let it show

2023 Concluded

Hello poetry lovers,

Wrapping things up for another season, I’m thrilled to share my end-of-year recap with all of you! First off, a shout-out to the wonderful readers who joined my poetic journey, witnessing a remarkable 21.1% growth from 199 to 241 followers in the past year.

To those new to my blog, welcome! I make it a tradition to provide an annual update, sharing not only statistics but also a comprehensive recap of my year. Feel free to explore my past updates and non-poetry-related posts housed under my “Personal” category.

Managing this website for over half a decade now, I’ve generated a total of 357 posts. A sincere thank you to all the readers who have supported my passion!

Reflecting on my posts from the last year, I shared content from 2009, 2022, and the start of 2023. Stay tuned as I unravel the remaining episodes of 2023 in the coming posts. Here are some of the ideas that made their way into my poems this year:

It was a busy year, marked by personal milestones such as finalizing my divorce, conquering my second half marathon, and actively engaging in softball and bowling leagues!

I must confess, I might have immersed myself a bit excessively in Spotify! The auditory journey encapsulated in my Spotify Wrapped serves as a reference for those intrigued by the soundtrack of my year. Undoubtedly, music holds an influence over my creative writing.

As we turn the page on the calendar, warm wishes for a Happy New Year to each and every one of you. May the upcoming days be filled with poetic verses of joy, laughter, and the crescendo of dreams fulfilled.

Here’s to another year of poetry, passion, and endless possibilities! Cheers to 2024!

The Meaning of Life

November 19th, 2009

Things I hate when I’m sick:
being too cold,
being too hot,
blank walls,
covered walls,
being sick.

This bed has been
a prison
for me to lay
awaiting more punishment.

Suffering,
sweating,
freezing,
shaking,
worrying.

I wasn’t worried about being sick,
it was school,
my future,
my career,
my meaning in life,
my homework assignment.

I never put much thought
into any of it,
but I’m a senior,
I graduate in seven months.

How could this happen?
I thought I had more time.

I feel so pressured,
rushed,
confused,
lost.

This can’t be real,
this is not real.

I’m going to wake up
and be back in Freshman year
and everything will be
okay.

But it’s not that simple.

Searching the web for ideas,
steal somebody else’s life,
make it real,
make it mine.

But it’s not that simple.

My head hurts,
I’m not okay,
I’m cold,
who am I,
what is my purpose,
it’s too hot,
I’m so confused.

I never felt I had a purpose,
so what do I say when
I don’t have plans for my future?

So what do I write?

The light flickered,
ideas in my head,
here,
and then gone.

I’ll put my future aside –
and think about now.

What am I here for?
What am I good for?
What is my purpose?

I have no purpose.

Then the light flickered again,
and stayed.

I then knew
what I had to do.