The Real Me

November 4th, 2018

Everyday I wake up and look in the mirror
I smile and say I’m fine
But I know that’s not the truth
When I’m living a life that’s not mine
Some people know my story
Some say they’re thankful to meet someone like them
But when they see the real me
They walk away because they can’t comprehend
That I actually have a disease
My depression is not a trend
My anxiety is crippling
And I just needed a friend
But they take the first out that they get
Because friends come and go
And I can’t get too close
To someone who doesn’t know
Because I drop my walls
To those who don’t say goodbye
It’s hard to stop myself
When I don’t have to live my lie
But people don’t like the real me
They want the version I don’t know
So I will keep my distance
With a smile and a show

Note: I read a new poem this week. If you can’t tell, I was unpracticed and extremely nervous. However, this is the real me.

Deliverance

October 19th, 2018

In a quiet place
I always find
I let my thoughts
Outside my mind
So close
But no one sees
Up on a staircase
Where I can be free
Confined to my thoughts
Is no way to be living
Up on a rooftop
My pencil’s unforgiving
And sitting glass to glass
I found a place to hide
But the reflections see it all
And I still can’t decide
I’m hidden in plain sight
But I don’t want to be found
I’m just searching for the place
My imagination can’t be bound

Hoax

October 15th, 2018

What is my plan
Where am I going
I don’t know how to live
In my constant unknowing
Who am I
I don’t know anymore
I live my life in somber
I have nothing to speak for
I broke this image
That I could never wear
An innuendo of myself
That was never really there
I hide my melancholy
But it has only fostered
I don’t know how no one knows
That I’m nothing but an imposter