Treading

November 16th, 2021

I’m running in this race
With no destination
My heart beats off pace
I don’t know which location
But my anxiety eats away
Like I’ve done something wrong
Constant imposter syndrome
When I just want to belong
A burst of inspiration
Is blown out like a flame
But the burning continues
I can still feel the pain
And I can’t help it sometimes
I feel like a burden
Using words against me
Is this life when you’re urban

Panic

July 31st, 2010

An unknown feeling has been following me
And it hasn’t gone away
So I walk around paranoid
Because it lusts me every day
The night is when it’s most clear
And I can almost taste it
But this feeling makes me antsy
I just don’t want to face it
When it crawls up my legs
It sends shivers all around
And in the dark
The feeling will be found
It tries to take my hand
And I refuse to let it do so
I know I can be stronger
If I wait it might let go
But still, I feel surrounded
I feel so boxed away
I feel like something’s wrong
And I feel it every day
The open door is waiting
The closed door is wanting
And the light wants to be off
So the dark can start haunting
The sounds in the day
The sounds in the night
Everything you’re feeling
You know it can’t be right
You try to stand your ground
You try to think it’s fake
But between your dreams and reality
You know that you’re awake
So you try to figure out
If it was just a dream
But the more you figure out
The more real that it seems
So you try to stay awake
You feel like you’re awake
You think that you’re awake
And start to wonder if it’s fake
You can only feel the cold
And nothing feels okay
Because you just can’t move
This nightmare took your life away

Reflections Don’t Lie

May 31st, 2021

I feel beside myself
Am I even here
My life turned into
Something insincere
Is this the wakeup call
That I have been needing
These wounds never healed
I can still feel them bleeding
Taking bits and pieces
I try to keep things together
Nothing ever fits
Will it be like this forever
I’ve crashed and I’ve burned
For something I yearn
A content life
But it’s just not my turn
Is it too much medication
Or is it not enough
When I spill out all my feelings
I regret opening up
Sometimes it comes down to
Taking accountability 
Am I holding myself back
From being happy