My Insecurities

August 24th, 2023

The people I spend my time with
Don’t care to know me
I spend my days surrounded
But I still feel so lonely
I worry my friends only talk to me
Out of obligation
And the guys I like only see me
Because I’m the only one accepting their invitation
Or maybe it’s my broken mind
I surround myself with strangers
Longing for a connection I’ve never had
But letting someone too close presents danger
I’m raw, I’m real
These feelings only worsen
I’m a chore to the wrong people
And it’s always the wrong person
I need to face my truth
That I buried deep within
I’ll tell you how I feel
After crying from holding it in
Maybe I should run away
Leave while I still have dignity
Since I wonder if you are only in my life
Because I’m in proximity
I do more for people
Than they would ever do for me
And when I face the truth
I’m the reason I’ll never be happy

Miles Between

May 22nd, 2023

I’m trying not to love you
As you’re telling me I’m worth it
And I’m holding in all my tears
Because everything feels perfect
Telling me this is the bare minimum
When it’s more than I’ve ever received
Feeling like a fairy tale
After how often I’ve been deceived
But I’m scared to get attached
To find out this is only a fantasy
And my past that left me guarded
Is scared that this could be a reality
It’s only been a month
But we talk everyday
And while you’re on the road
I hope you drive my way
Because I can’t wait to feel
My hand inside of yours
Tangled in your arms
A life behind closed doors
I want to spend all day talking in bed
I want your arms to cover me like a blanket
I want you to teach me to love myself
But I haven’t even met you yet

Was There Even An Us?

December 23rd, 2022

I wanted you to take me on that stupid date
Where I could wear my new dress
But you asked if we could stay in instead
And we had fun nonetheless
I wanted to get naked with you
But not the kind without clothes
I’d tell you the details of my life
That nobody else knows
I wanted consistency from you
The one thing you asked of me
But you’d cancel, postpone, and even no-show
Us ending was easy to foresee