True Love

January 2nd, 2025

I grew up watching Cinderella
And Beauty & The Beast
Raised to believe
That love comes so easy
But the love that I’ve chased
Was always one sided
I attract broken people
I just can’t fight it
Because hurt people hurt people
And I’ve been on both sides
But my energy attracts
What I say I don’t like
When I meet what I want
The feelings aren’t there
I’ve learned to fall in love
With pain and despair
I pursue the wrong people
I love unrequited
Knowing the disrespect
Was something I abided
Playing the long game
Hoping someone will cave
Is how I’ll end up alone
At the end of the day
But that’s all I’ve ever known
Self abandoning and limerence
What I wouldn’t give
To experience romance
Even fairy tales stem
From something once grim
True love is a fantasy
That I’ll never be in

Sup Friend?

December 17th, 2024

When I’m talking do you listen
You never ask me questions
So I kept it surface level
And I capped your progression
I matched your energy
I played your game
Then you backed away
So I did the same
I have so many words for you
That you will never hear
And even when this hurts me
I still choose to keep you near
I said there wouldn’t be another chance
But this time we’re just friends
And I said I wouldn’t write about you
Then I broke that once again

The Fantasy

May 4th, 2024

Why do I empathize with those who hurt me
Logically explain away their behavior
Downplaying my pain in the situation
Still believing they’re my savior
Is it because I miss being madly in love
Because instead I am just mad
And I’m chasing down a feeling
Of what I’ve never had
When emotions were high
My inhibitions were low
So I loved people
Until they let me go
They didn’t want me
They wanted the fantasy
Still searching for the person
Who wants the real me