Love Me Anyway

February 13th, 2010

I liked the idea of you and me
But you didn’t take us seriously
Now all of that is in the past
Because nothing ever seems to last
But it’s something I won’t forget
You’re a prison I’ll always regret
You left me with memories that won’t go away
Could someone else love me anyway?
I hate the fact I have this curse
My heart or my actions, I don’t know which is worse
It’s not like you gave me much of a choice
But it’s not like I didn’t have a voice
I wish I had known before this came to be
Because this is now my reality
And I have to live with this day by day
Could someone else love me anyway?

2010 2 (6)

Uncontrollable

January 8th, 2010

I’m carried by my feet
They’re taking me away
Off onto a journey
But I don’t know the way
I’m dragged by my arms
A grip so strong
I tried to doubt my feelings
Even though I knew I was wrong
I’m pushed from behind
I’m so compelled to go
Because I followed a wrong path
To a place I didn’t know
I don’t want to be here
I hate this state of mind
I hate losing control
And I hate feeling this blind
But now I have no grip
And I have no place to stand
Because once I was on edge
You let go of my hand

The Prison of My Skin

January 4th, 2010

The dark surrounding followed me
This is something more
The spinning room is haunting me
No exit and no door
And everything is moving
And I can’t make it go away
And after all this time
I’ve lost track of all the days
And laying down I fell right through
There’s no stable place
So weak and just so dizzy
But this is something I have to face
This is nothing that I knew
I’m learning by the time
And I can’t hold on to what matters
Because nothing’s ever mine
And no one’s ever honest
And no one ever cares
And the more it seems I need someone
The more they’re never there
And I mess up and make mistakes
It’s who I’m trapped to be
But lately, I just feel so lost
I hate to know this is me
I hate to face my mirror
I hate how I feel inside
I hate being trapped in my body
Because there’s nowhere I can hide
I can’t escape this prison
My skin just fits too tight
And I’m searching for emotion
But nothing ever just feels right
I hate looking the same
I don’t reflect my soul
And every time I need someone
I let that person go
I never hurt the right way
I just can’t feel the pain
I can’t make myself happy
And I can’t keep myself sane
And here I am inside
I’ve been dying to be free
I just need to move on
Because the girl in the mirror’s not me
My skin is closing in
I can only feel the guilt
Because I did this to myself
Because I dropped the walls I built
So I’ll put them all back up
And I’ll set myself free
Because I can’t hold on to my sanity
In a prison built for me