Hate

Love Me Anyway

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February 13th, 2010

I liked the idea of you and me
But you didn’t take us seriously
Now all of that is in the past
Because nothing ever seems to last
But it’s something I won’t forget
You’re a prison I’ll always regret
You left me with memories that won’t go away
Could someone else love me anyway?
I hate the fact I have this curse
My heart or my actions, I don’t know which is worse
It’s not like you gave me much of a choice
But it’s not like I didn’t have a voice
I wish I had known before this came to be
Because this is now my reality
And I have to live with this day by day
Could someone else love me anyway?

2010 2 (6)

Uncontrollable

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January 8th, 2010

I’m carried by my feet
They’re taking me away
Off onto a journey
But I don’t know the way
I’m dragged by my arms
A grip so strong
I tried to doubt my feelings
Even though I knew I was wrong
I’m pushed from behind
I’m so compelled to go
Because I followed a wrong path
To a place I didn’t know
I don’t want to be here
I hate this state of mind
I hate losing control
And I hate feeling this blind
But now I have no grip
And I have no place to stand
Because once I was on edge
You let go of my hand

The Prison of My Skin

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January 4th, 2010

The dark surrounding followed me
This is something more
The spinning room is haunting me
No exit and no door
And everything is moving
And I can’t make it go away
And after all this time
I’ve lost track of all the days
And laying down I fell right through
There’s no stable place
So weak and just so dizzy
But this is something I have to face
This is nothing that I knew
I’m learning by the time
And I can’t hold on to what matters
Because nothing’s ever mine
And no one’s ever honest
And no one ever cares
And the more it seems I need someone
The more they’re never there
And I mess up and make mistakes
It’s who I’m trapped to be
But lately, I just feel so lost
I hate to know this is me
I hate to face my mirror
I hate how I feel inside
I hate being trapped in my body
Because there’s nowhere I can hide
I can’t escape this prison
My skin just fits too tight
And I’m searching for emotion
But nothing ever just feels right
I hate looking the same
I don’t reflect my soul
And every time I need someone
I let that person go
I never hurt the right way
I just can’t feel the pain
I can’t make myself happy
And I can’t keep myself sane
And here I am inside
I’ve been dying to be free
I just need to move on
Because the girl in the mirror’s not me
My skin is closing in
I can only feel the guilt
Because I did this to myself
Because I dropped the walls I built
So I’ll put them all back up
And I’ll set myself free
Because I can’t hold on to my sanity
In a prison built for me