November 16th, 2021
I’m running in this race
With no destination
My heart beats off pace
I don’t know which location
But my anxiety eats away
Like I’ve done something wrong
Constant imposter syndrome
When I just want to belong
A burst of inspiration
Is blown out like a flame
But the burning continues
I can still feel the pain
And I can’t help it sometimes
I feel like a burden
Using words against me
Is this life when you’re urban
January 25th, 2010
One little lie
I shouldn’t dignify
So I placed a rose in to your hand
You placed your toes in the wet sand
I saw that look inside your eyes
But I let you say goodbye
I know I didn’t try
I know I didn’t try
We crashed on your bed
My chin above your head
In my arms was where you laid
But we soon began to fade
And not the beach, but where we lie
One last kiss before goodbye
Our hands intertwined
Guilty thoughts inside my mind
I let the train pull me away
But it brought you back to me one day
We walked around in the summer air
I just really wanted to care
I know I wasn’t fair
I know I wasn’t fair
Another laying in my bed
Confused thoughts inside your head
I never told you, you were right
My feelings I just couldn’t fight
I wish I could take it back
But then the experience I’d lack
I know that it was wrong
I’d known it all along
I wish I never lied
I’m sorry I didn’t try
January 4th, 2010
The dark surrounding followed me
This is something more
The spinning room is haunting me
No exit and no door
And everything is moving
And I can’t make it go away
And after all this time
I’ve lost track of all the days
And laying down I fell right through
There’s no stable place
So weak and just so dizzy
But this is something I have to face
This is nothing that I knew
I’m learning by the time
And I can’t hold on to what matters
Because nothing’s ever mine
And no one’s ever honest
And no one ever cares
And the more it seems I need someone
The more they’re never there
And I mess up and make mistakes
It’s who I’m trapped to be
But lately, I just feel so lost
I hate to know this is me
I hate to face my mirror
I hate how I feel inside
I hate being trapped in my body
Because there’s nowhere I can hide
I can’t escape this prison
My skin just fits too tight
And I’m searching for emotion
But nothing ever just feels right
I hate looking the same
I don’t reflect my soul
And every time I need someone
I let that person go
I never hurt the right way
I just can’t feel the pain
I can’t make myself happy
And I can’t keep myself sane
And here I am inside
I’ve been dying to be free
I just need to move on
Because the girl in the mirror’s not me
My skin is closing in
I can only feel the guilt
Because I did this to myself
Because I dropped the walls I built
So I’ll put them all back up
And I’ll set myself free
Because I can’t hold on to my sanity
In a prison built for me
Doll Poetry 