It’s All I Deserve

August 19th, 2009

The music’s playing, taking control of me. Off across the country, off to where I don’t know. Off to find myself, find a comfort zone. Looking for something in someone, looking for something in me, looking for the music that’ll help set me free. Friendship is a loss of privacy, giving someone just as much of the ability to destroy you as the one you love. Cutting deep, feel the knife penetrate your body, almost to mix you up and leave you where you belong. Leaving you bleeding, searching for help, finding nothing. Looking in the mirror, there’s nothing you see that’s worth it, it’s those people you’re here for, but once they’re gone, why are you still here. Blast the music louder, too loud to hear your own thoughts, don’t be yourself, they don’t like you that way. Block out the sound, block out the music, block out the buzzing, the silence, leave me with nothing. This is all I have, I never wanted this, but the love broke me and I gave myself up for a cold-hearted soul that sucked the life from me and left me with all the nothing I deserve.

(Originally Posted Here)

How Strange

September 9th, 2019

Strangers at first
That’s where we all start
Until we meet each other
And we don’t know life apart
Disclosing becomes easier
Trust is gaining
And there are fewer things
That I’m refraining
Stories of the past
A time we never knew
Playing years of catch up
There’s so much left to do
But then something happens
We have our first fight
And we can’t conclude
Who’s wrong or right
It’s easier to move on
But that elephant’s still there
With an open wound
That we’ve left unrepaired
And we can pretend
But we can’t forget
And someone who once comforted you
Becomes something you regret
Words can’t make this better
And we can’t pretend
That someone you love
Can’t become a stranger again

Blue Eyes (Tell Lies)

May 27th, 2009

You’re that feeling inside me that won’t go away
You stare me down in the mirror every day
You’re the one saying stay quiet because you aren’t tough
You’re that voice in my head saying I’m not good enough
You’re that voice that judges me every day
Puts me down in every possible way
Attaching to me and pulling down my walls
Watching me crumble while they fall
You look me in the eyes and expect me to blink
I know what you’re doing ‘cause I’m smarter than you think
You hold me back just so you can grow stronger
And you label it friendship, but I can’t stay any longer
You like to see me cry when I break
And your smile has grown to look so fake
I look at you just searching for something but lies
But they shine from your smile and up to your blue eyes