Friendship

My Insecurities

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August 24th, 2023

The people I spend my time with
Don’t care to know me
I spend my days surrounded
But I still feel so lonely
I worry my friends only talk to me
Out of obligation
And the guys I like only see me
Because I’m the only one accepting their invitation
Or maybe it’s my broken mind
I surround myself with strangers
Longing for a connection I’ve never had
But letting someone too close presents danger
I’m raw, I’m real
These feelings only worsen
I’m a chore to the wrong people
And it’s always the wrong person
I need to face my truth
That I buried deep within
I’ll tell you how I feel
After crying from holding it in
Maybe I should run away
Leave while I still have dignity
Since I wonder if you are only in my life
Because I’m in proximity
I do more for people
Than they would ever do for me
And when I face the truth
I’m the reason I’ll never be happy

I Thought You’d Be Different

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August 14th, 2023

Another piece of myself
I’ve freely given away
Who I once believed to be a friend
Has left me in disarray
Moments that came and went
Made me think this could be more
But now I have not heard from you
Since I left your front door
A Friday night I asked you to drinks
But we ended up at your place
I was feeling broken
Then we met face-to-face
You’re the one who kissed me
Then said that we were just friends
And when I asked you about it
You said it won’t happen again
Then five days later
It happened again
Now I haven’t heard from you since
What happened to just friends?
Eight months I’ve known you
But I never acted on my feelings
You crossed the line
And I’m the one reeling

Unrequited

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September 1st, 2009

When you say you love me, I feel comfort, but I don’t think I love you anymore. After all these years I still feel awkward when I see you, and I don’t think that’s going to change. You taught me so much I could never learn on my own. Thank you for teaching me how to feel and how to hurt. I’ve gotten to the point I just want to take myself so far, to where my knees give out, and no matter where I am, I’ll be okay. I want to think that I will always have you as a friend, because no matter how in love with you I was, I don’t think being more would be best for us ever again. Thank you for helping me to grow, and for being part of my experience, but most of all, thank you for never loving me back.