Fake

Blue Eyes (Tell Lies)

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May 27th, 2009

You’re that feeling inside me that won’t go away
You stare me down in the mirror every day
You’re the one saying stay quiet because you aren’t tough
You’re that voice in my head saying I’m not good enough
You’re that voice that judges me every day
Puts me down in every possible way
Attaching to me and pulling down my walls
Watching me crumble while they fall
You look me in the eyes and expect me to blink
I know what you’re doing ‘cause I’m smarter than you think
You hold me back just so you can grow stronger
And you label it friendship, but I can’t stay any longer
You like to see me cry when I break
And your smile has grown to look so fake
I look at you just searching for something but lies
But they shine from your smile and up to your blue eyes

That’s Where My Heart’s Breaking 💔

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March 18th, 2005

Going under
Deep within my skin
Wondering why
You won’t let me in

Falling down
Right into myself
Going under
Deep within my skin

[Chorus:]
Under my skin, that’s where my heart’s breaking
Looking in the mirror at the life that I’ve been faking
Counting to the moment where I’ll never be awaking
So under my skin, that’s where my heart’s breaking

Under my skin
That’s where my heart beats
That’s where my blood flows
That’s where I lost my mind
That’s where you broke my heart

[Chorus:]
Under my skin, that’s where my heart’s breaking
Looking in the mirror at the life that I’ve been faking
Counting to the moment where I’ll never be awaking
So under my skin, that’s where my heart’s breaking

Under my skin
I’m lost in my mind
Impossible to win
And I’m never coming out again

[Chorus:]
Under my skin, that’s where my heart’s breaking
Looking in the mirror at the life that I’ve been faking
Counting to the moment where I’ll never be awaking
So under my skin, that’s where my heart’s breaking

 

2005 (3)

Show Time

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March 13th, 2018

I write to chase my demons away
But they always find a place to stay
A vessel that I never would have thought
Holds the misery that I wished I forgot
The feelings never seem to end
I just find new ways to play pretend
I fake being happy so nobody knows
I put on my smile and put on a show
These things, they always start to pile
All I can do is embrace the denial
These pills are here to help me conceal
I don’t know if anything is real
All I know is I feel so weak
But my mind still finds its way to speak
I just can’t let these feelings go
So I put on my smile and I start the show

Note: I was initially hesitant about posting this poem because I wrote this during one of my hardest struggles with depression. I am so thankful to have poetry as a healthy outlet for expressing my emotions, as I don’t know how else I could make sense of these unbearable feelings. If anyone ever needs someone to talk to about their own struggles, I am always open for discussion!