July 1st, 2025

I thought if I got to know you
I wouldn’t like you anymore
But I now know that I was wrong
You’ve continuously surprised me
Wanting to read as a New Year’s Resolution
Deep diving bibliology while not religious
Protecting your inner world so strongly
Still letting me see glimpses
How much you loved your dog
How ambitious you are to get your job done
And even though you’re not blood related
Helping your Dad and being a good son
I love listening to you talk
The things we have in common
The things we disagree on
Playful jabs while being a hater
I like how much of a nerd you are
I think you see how much I see you
And maybe it scares you
But it scares me that I still care
Even through the distance
As me clearing the air brought you closer
I thought that I had already lost you
But you say I’ve done nothing bad
I don’t think that’s true though
You’ve constantly accepted the blame
For things I have never apologized for
I’ve pushed boundaries you never set
I’ve blamed you for my emotions
When I should’ve been looking in the mirror
I’m just an imperfect person
Who fell for another imperfect person
I don’t know what to do with that
Because we weren’t meant to be
But I learned a lot about myself
So I’m still glad that we met

Note: This poem was written five months ago, before I fully accepted that someone I cared about was unable to show up with integrity. I no longer relate to this version of myself, but I honor her for trying to find the good in people.