Mirage

August 30th, 2009

Last night you held my hand, just like a few weeks ago when we kissed, and those were all dreams, but nothing feels as real as this. I’m lost in this state of mind, and I can’t figure out who you are, and in the process of figuring myself out too, I’m not getting very far. You did this to me unintended I beg, I didn’t expect anything out of words, but here I am with you running through my mind, and you haven’t seemed to step out yet. I never expected to see you like this, and I never expected to see myself acting the way I am, but here I am looking at myself in the mirror, appearance untouched, but looking deeper shows that nothing’s what it used to be. I’m at a loss of words on the fact we’ve been at a loss for words our self, and our conversation has ended. Waiting to talk to you has been on my mind for too long now, and every time my phone goes off my smile fades because your name isn’t there anymore. If it weren’t for my curiosity I would have never had to hear you say you’re sorry, and you weren’t, but it made me smile anyway. If you’re just a mirage it’d be nice if you could let me know now, because I don’t want to get too close to someone who will only disappear in the end.

(Originally Posted Here)

Taking Over Reality

December 15th, 2005

I slam the door shut
Keep these feelings away from me
It’s scaring me
What I’m becoming

[Chorus:]
I’m insane, are these normal feelings
I’m crazy, delusional
But it’s not a dream, reality
Destiny is calling me

Kinda crazy when you think about it
I’m falling into this empty pit
Catch me
Before it’s too late

I’ve already fallen too deep to be saved
I’m not sure but my dreams have taken over – reality

[Chorus:]
I’m insane, are these normal feelings
I’m crazy, delusional
But it’s not a dream, reality
Destiny is calling me

Lock the door and throw away the key
These feelings are sinking me
So lost in these daydreams
Everything’s not what it seems

Why’s life doing this to me
Dreams taking over reality
Sink me in the sea of death
Now it’s gone, nothing left

[Chorus:]
I’m insane, are these normal feelings
I’m crazy, delusional
But it’s not a dream, reality
Destiny is calling me

 

2005 (10)

Goodbye (Sorry Means Nothing)

August 2004

It’s hard for me to say
What’s becoming of this day
Never knowing what to do
I always end up running back to you

[Chorus:]
Hey, I was dreaming of you
Late last night (oh)
I was in love with you
But now that feeling’s gone
Never knowing what to say
It’s like you ditched me every day
My heart is beating uncontrollably
I’m going to cry
It’s time to say goodbye
To all of my feelings that have been unleashed
Lock them in a cage, get out of this stupid stage
All of this happened because you said goodbye

Maybe I could at least say sorry
But the pain you put me through isn’t over
I’m always crying over this but it happened months ago
It’s hard to forget all your twisted lies

I wish I could lock them up in a cage
Why am I stuck in this stupid stage
Water dripping from my eyes so much like a faucet
My dreams are missing in action

[Chorus:]
Hey, I was dreaming of you
Late last night (oh)
I was in love with you
But now that feeling’s gone
Never knowing what to say
It’s like you ditched me every day
My heart is beating uncontrollably
I’m going to cry
It’s time to say goodbye
To all of my feelings that have been unleashed
Lock them in a cage, get out of this stupid stage
All of this happened because you said goodbye

Maybe you could have said sorry
And maybe I would have forgave you
But that’s all for now
Never say sorry
It means nothing
Goodbye

Goodbye
Goodbye
Sorry means nothing
Goodbye

My heart is beating really fast
My hands are getting sweaty
Will this moment ever last
Holding on is getting hard
Why is life like this

[Chorus:]
Hey, I was dreaming of you
Late last night (oh)
I was in love with you
But now that feeling’s gone
Never knowing what to say
It’s like you ditched me every day
My heart is beating uncontrollably
I’m going to cry
It’s time to say goodbye
To all of my feelings that have been unleashed
Lock them in a cage, get out of this stupid stage
All of this happened because you said goodbye

Note: I found some older writing, mostly songs, on my computer. I will be posting these the remainder of this month – feel free to laugh at my teenage angst!

2004 (5)