Denial

March 6th, 2008

Maybe I am better off without you
But that’s not something I can prove
And whenever I need to walk away
I find no strength to move
Maybe you’ll finally leave my mind
But that won’t happen for a while
Because I want to say I don’t love you
But then that’s just denial
Maybe you’ll forget about me
Or maybe that’s already done
And maybe I’ll stop crying
About this imaginary fight that you’ve won
And maybe I’ll finally get over you
Because you’re already over me
But I care too much about you
More than you’ll ever see

2008 9 (5)

Show Time

March 13th, 2018

I write to chase my demons away
But they always find a place to stay
A vessel that I never would have thought
Holds the misery that I wished I forgot
The feelings never seem to end
I just find new ways to play pretend
I fake being happy so nobody knows
I put on my smile and put on a show
These things, they always start to pile
All I can do is embrace the denial
These pills are here to help me conceal
I don’t know if anything is real
All I know is I feel so weak
But my mind still finds its way to speak
I just can’t let these feelings go
So I put on my smile and I start the show

Note: I was initially hesitant about posting this poem because I wrote this during one of my hardest struggles with depression. I am so thankful to have poetry as a healthy outlet for expressing my emotions, as I don’t know how else I could make sense of these unbearable feelings. If anyone ever needs someone to talk to about their own struggles, I am always open for discussion!