The Ending

December 11th, 2019

Time has passed
But I still ache
I told my truth
You let me break
Locked in my journal
The events that I transcribed
The feelings that I held
The medicine they prescribed
What happened can’t be changed
As I watched you drive away
We can’t alter the past
But we can start over today
Because in the midnight hours
When I was most vulnerable
You made a mistake
And we were irrecoverable
Because I am not an instrument
I’m not here to be played
I trusted too easily
Which left me betrayed
So if we see each other
There’s nothing to discuss
You made your decision
And left me with mistrust
All these songs know how I feel
And I can’t keep pretending
I’m worth more than an afterthought
So this must be the ending

Always

September 4th, 2009

I remember how confused I was, so many things running through my mind just about what was going on, and then we laid in awkward silence. The silence broke and you told me you loved me, and you had said it many times before, but none of it was real, none of it was what I needed, none of it was what I wanted. Time’s long gone since then, and this is when I start to realize the truth, I got myself caught up in a bad situation, and I don’t want it to count, so it shouldn’t. I believe how I feel, and how I feel is that I’m pure, and nothing’s what you said, and I’m alone. Half fact, half question, never sure of myself, but I have something that you didn’t take, not even close, and I let my love for you get in the way of the truth. I love you, but not as I did before, and I never should have, and I never will again. I’ve come to a strong decision of this part of me, and step by step I’ll figure out the rest: I’m alone, and I always have been.

(Originally Posted Here)

Go

April 9th, 2019

When I first met you
You’d take me on long drives
But your car became your escape
Now we’re living different lives

When I first met you
I loved all that you are
But the only thing you loved
Was the comfort of your car

[Chorus:]
All you do is go (go)
It’s tearing me apart
I’m keeping it together
When I have a broken heart
All you do is leave (leave)
Again you steer away
Even without words
You knew I wanted you to stay

Even at this time
I still want you to care
I don’t know who I am fooling
Because you were never there

Even at this time
I wonder how you are
The only sign you give
Is when you take off in your car

[Chorus:]
All you do is go (go)
Your car was our department
I’m keeping it together
And I’m ready to jump start
All you do is leave (leave)
Again on the freeway
Even without words
I know you’ll regret this someday

All you do is run (run)
You don’t know how to stay
I’m worth more than a car
It’s my turn to drive away

Note: I must have written that chorus months ago without ever physically writing it down. I couldn’t decide how I wanted it to go, so each time is a new verse. I don’t usually write songs, but I attempt every once in awhile!