Dying

October 29th, 2009

I am alone in a crowded room
I see everyone, but I’m just another face
I hear their voices, but they all blur into one
I smell the odor of death in the air, surrounding me
I feel it in my bones that I won’t make it any longer
I think I’ve finally lost hope of being saved
I fear that I’m going to be forgotten
I wish it didn’t have to be this way
I believe my plans were much more than God had planned for myself
I am dying

Note: This was a school assignment based off of a photo from the Holocaust.

I Hope You’re Happy Now

September 6th, 2009

The darkness reached out, only to find my hand, and it was all so unplanned, but I went along with it anyway. This was a different side, the one everyone tells me is right, but why does it feel so wrong to the point I’m forced to hide it then, and why is everyone trying to pry it out of me. Time takes the best of me, and I need as much as I can to figure out myself, but it keeps yanking, and I can’t hold on anymore. How do you keep something inside that’s dying to get out, words that you’re proud of but ashamed of who you are with how you feel. I can change who I am, but I’m scared, and the trust isn’t out there for the comfort of my secrets to find. So they stay written in stories, hidden in words, read them between the lines if you want to know. How could you do that to me, you put me on the spot, you try to break me, and half the time I can’t see why I bother to call you a friend. Tell me I’m going to hell, and I hope you realize you’re the one sending me there, pushing something on me that I’m not ready to confront myself about, yet along with you. This wasn’t how I wanted you to find out, but if it worked, I hope you’re happy now.

(Originally Posted Here)

Fly Away

July 20th, 2009

Some people are helpless
That’s not me
I’m going to be saved
The angels will come
I will be free
I need help
But to admit that
Is to admit I have a problem
But admitting my problem
Will save me in the end
Or maybe I’ll just drown more
Hollow veins
Blood runs dry
I’ve been emptied
I gave you everything I had
Those black eyes
They took my soul
They sucked me in
And this was no game to be playing
But I played
And I lost
Now all I see
Is colorless
Black blood
Draining me
Black eyes
Watching me
Red skies
Taking over beauty
And it’s gone
The lights go out
I lost my faith
Stolen from my weakened grip
I held on ‘til death
But I had no choice
I was in no condition
For a tug-a-war against you
I’d only loose
I’m only weak
And you have it all
My lungs are empty
I’ve lost my air
And taking my last breath
You left me there
And with my wings
You flew away
You left me here
To die this day