Clairvoyant

February 19th, 2024

A few months ago I went to a psychic fair
And they knew my connection to two
The guy I’ve known for lifetimes
And the other was someone new
They made it clear
Neither were my soulmate
But both were lessons I needed
While I find my path to fate
Now that they’re both gone
What was I supposed to learn
The guy from many lifetimes
Just constantly returns
But the newer guy was just like the first
So I guess that bears the question
How many more lifetimes
Is he supposed to be my lesson
Because this lifetime sent him to me thrice
His attributes in another person
I fell for the second when I couldn’t have the first
Their similarities are certain
Both born right after Christmas
But 364 days apart
Alike in so many ways
Including the way they hurt my heart
But the second guy is actually the third
Because there was another before
I keep looking for guy number one
Every time he closes the door
They have almost the same name
And live off of the same street
Will I keep looking for him
In every one I meet
Am I doomed in reincarnation
Why does he have a hold on me
What is it I’m not learning?
Why won’t he set me free?
A psychic can only tell you so much
And I don’t know what I believe
I need to cut this connection
But he never stays gone when he leaves
Maybe it’s because the stars aligned the day we met
When Mars and Venus encountered Pluto in Capricorn
And I heard this karmic cycle is ending this week
So I’m letting go for a new connection to be born

Thirty-One

January 25th, 2024

I know I promised myself
I wouldn’t write about you anymore
But today is your birthday
And I haven’t locked the door
I looked at your Hinge profile
You’re another year older
I don’t know why I can’t move on
When this is irreparably over
It’s been just over a year since I saw you last
You were twenty-nine and now you’re thirty-one
You probably feel like you dodged a bullet
While I’m feeling like you shot me with one
My heart hurts for that version of me
Who got that cruel message from you
But I dyed my hair purple while faking my smile
And I still wished you a happy thirtieth too
I’ve never written a poem longer than six pages
But with you I couldn’t stop
So when you opened that fifteen page poem
I wonder what you thought
Maybe it will be your Roman Empire
And maybe one day you’ll find your redemption arc
But no future apology from you
Will ever relight our spark

Don’t Come Back (Part 2)

January 22nd, 2024

You might be a vegan
But you caught me like a fish in a hook
I’m begging you to release me
I don’t belong on a shelf like a book
You have more compassion for animals
You try to oversimplify
By telling me you don’t know what you want
But you still won’t say goodbye
I told you that was all I needed
I couldn’t have you disappear again
Then I don’t hear from you
Going against calling me a friend
There’s no basic respect
You want what you want
You say you don’t know what that is
But you know what it’s not
There’s a lump in my throat
I don’t know what to do with
I say that I don’t cry
But I need to release this
I let one tear go
But there’s so much more
I’ve bottled up everything
To not be who I was before
And I lay myself down
In all my broken pieces
I’m trying to convince myself
That I really don’t need this
Because I loved you as a person
I don’t know if I felt more
But what do I do with this love
You don’t want anymore
I pretend that I don’t care
But you know that’s a lie
How can I let this go
When you couldn’t say bye
So I will use my words
To strike this match
And burn our bridge
You can’t have me back

(Don’t Come Back Part 1)