Dating

The Actual Ugly Truth

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June 11th, 2025

I’m finally opening my eyes
And letting myself embrace the validity
I filled my head with excuses you’d never give
You’ve probably laughed at my stupidity
I gave you endless patience
That you had never earned
And I abandoned all the things
That I knew I really deserved
Someone who actually wanted me
Wouldn’t leave me in this confusion
And I can’t even blame you
When I’m the one who built the illusion
You told me time and time again
Through your actions and your words
You’re “just not that interested”
I’m not what you’re moving towards
So I’m sorry I never listened
And I’m sorry for being clueless
But I need to apologize to myself
For waiting for you to choose this

Personal Note: Off subject, but I just wanted to share a small moment for my brother TJ, who passed away on this day four years ago (12/15/2021). I hope you’re resting in peace.

The Stranger With Your Name

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May 22nd, 2025

I saw your name on the profile
In October’s midnight hours
Then the pictures weren’t of you
But your name still had powers
I decided to swipe right
I saw no harm in that decision
Then I froze in place
Like my heart took an incision
It wasn’t because it matched
We did but I didn’t engage
It’s what I couldn’t believe
On the very next page
There you were
Your photos and name
Even after two years
Your profile still looked the same
I sat in my feelings
The emotional weight
From your name to you
Like some twist of fate
I took another chance
As I slid your photo right
And froze to the statement
That triggered fight or flight
It said it’s a match
Two profiles back to back
Again holding off on messaging
And feeling the draw back
Something new
And something old
Feeling the weight
Of the decision I hold
Looking back at that night 
Now that my heart’s out of danger
Wondering why I never messaged
The other stranger

People You May Know

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May 1st, 2025

Scrolling through suggested friends
There are people who are there for a reason
The past plays in my mind like a show
Full of people who only lasted a season
Profiles available to quietly remember
Even when they’re not your friend
Easy to get caught up longing the past
When you can still see where they’ve been
The last person I slept next to
But I can barely remember his voice
It’s been over a year since I heard from him
And I hate that it was his choice
He celebrated his anniversary recently
With the girl that he ghosted me for
And even if I still missed him
There’s no going back to before
Now he lives in a place that I’ve never been
Where no trace of me still lingers
Unless he still has my keyboard and mouse
With memories at the tip of his fingers
And I know that I should stop looking
It’s healthier to just let him go
But I hate when someone I loved
Turns into People You May Know