Just A Dream?

July 7th, 2024

The last few nights
Filled with weird dreams
Replaying in my mind
What do they mean
Living in a new place
With people peaking in
Risking the same issues
How do I win
Being drugged by a stranger
There’s always that risk
But dragged to an alternate reality
Do those even exist?
But then I’m working in retail
And I’m collecting sea shells
No idea where they came from
Are these layers of hell?
Then I’m dragged to an event
With decoys of me
So no one can save me
Trapped in this reality
Then the next night again
A strange occupation
Arresting the last person I loved
Now what was this causation
With a parting kiss
I’m back at an old workplace
Some people shouldn’t be there
But I didn’t solve that case
Someone stood up for me
While one questioned my skills
Behavior like this
Had me running for the hills
And it just kept going
Because I’m in a classroom
My friend’s son is arguing
About someone who transferred too soon
Was this all connected
Was there any meaning
I’m looking for significance
But I was only dreaming

Recalculating

May 27th, 2024

Six days left
Of being thirty-one
I don’t really know
Who I’ve become
Am I losing my focus
Have I lost my way
Who I was before
Isn’t who I am today
Reflecting on the past
But I know I can’t live there
Leaving behind an old life
And people who never cared
I might not be where I want
But I’m finding direction
From every wrong turn
A new route from rejection
As confusing as it feels
That’s the beauty of growing
Finding myself
After all the not knowing

Easy

November 14th, 2023

I had my life together
When you asked how I was doing
Why would you do this again
You make my life confusing

[Chorus 1:]
You know what you’re doing
What you’re putting me through
When you walked away
How was that easy for you?

I think I was happy
For eight months you were a ghost
But I still remember
When I wanted you the most

The history I share with you
Remembering the past
I thought I’d never see you again
The feelings my heart recast

[Chorus 1:]
You know what you’re doing
What you’re putting me through
When you walked away
How was that easy for you?

Telling me to look at you
Then all you did was smile
A new feeling of intimacy
I hadn’t felt in a while

I thought things were different
This cycle of insanity
But I will never be enough
To share your life of vanity

[Chorus 1:]
You know what you’re doing
What you’re putting me through
When you walked away
How was that easy for you?

I don’t want to love you
Now is it too late?
I need to address this
Your words hold a weight

Just say something, anything
Tell me to stay
Your silence is deafening
It’s not easy to walk away

[Chorus 2:]
You know what you did
What you put me through
But you don’t respond
How is this easy for you?